Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML
Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Go hunt them down to retrieve your keys. They might reward your tenacity with a threesome.
grandpaearthling 2
bet now you are wishing you'd put down the sex doll and helped your roommate. now you and blow up barbie are stuck all alone for two days without keys. guess your plan worked out in the end. sweet deal
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Comments (48)
grandpaearthling 2
bet now you are wishing you'd put down the sex doll and helped your roommate. now you and blow up barbie are stuck all alone for two days without keys. guess your plan worked out in the end. sweet deal
BandddGeekkk 0
ha! (:
perdix 31
Go hunt them down to retrieve your keys. They might reward your tenacity with a threesome.
gusgus36 5
aaah that sucks. can't a locksmith or someone get you in? I guess that's why it's good to keep a spare key with someone else who doesn't live with you
spongebobluvr05 5
no shit eh?? what a smart one they are ......
DarkHelmet 10
Sucks to be you...but don't let this opportunity go to waste! You can now sleep on the street and experience Hoboism for a little while. You know see how the other half lives.
whitemilkea 0
Now you've got an excuse to move in with a great looking dude with this excuse :D Er... sorry are u married..? X(
London999 0
you will face difficult time. be ready for that!
drunkssssssssss 0
ummm you left together why didn't you ask for it back?
xGUMMYBEARSx 0
keep knocking until you answer.
pongo_lycaon 4
You also forgot to ask for them back, as they are your keys you are responsible for them
ImaginaryFoe 1
This pretty much sums it up. I hate it when people look for others to blame for their stupid mistakes. Why would she be thinking about your keys, OP? You weren't thinking about her luggage or whatever. YDI
kidclarke 15
And you forgot to get them from her.