Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
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Top comments
chosenblades 8
Would you like some hershey kisses?
Ambient25 25
After all those times you pretended to throw the ball, that puppy knew payback was in order...
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Comments (51)
hessel 13
what do you get when a buldog and a shit-zu get a baby? bullshit
CharresBarkrey 16
"One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu. Yeah, we called it a bullshit."
TypoH 7
Clearly, the anti-kiss repelent didn't work. I think your puppy is running out of options.
RenosShark 8
Hope you warn the next person before you kiss them
Ginja_HaZ 15
I bet it took awhile to get that smell to go away... a whole new meaning to smelling your own upper lip.
knoxxx 22
Reason #354 why I'm a cat person.
wannabesinger 16
Having worked at a veterinary & adoption clinic, I've seen many cats covered in their own shit.
knoxxx 22
I'm sure they do, I never said they didn't. I've had both dogs and cats and I've never had to give one my cats a bath because they're covered in shit. But I've definitely done it multiple times for my dogs, and then usually I get to give them a second bath after they go role in the dirt while they're still wet. I like dogs, but I'm a cat person. This is one of the reasons why.
Ambient25 25
Two words for any cat lovers: Toxoplasma gondii
jessicajackson_fml 8
I would check next time BTW
jonha21 11
Wauw You got Shitfaced
LaLince 40
that's because you're from Monmouthshire
KrazyChica 3
Cute
krabbyrapist 12
who kisses a dog?
Cazz91 21
A lot of people surprisingly give their pets a small kiss on the head for affection, even the dangerous ones that look like they can cause you to have a real bad time. At the point I would question stupidity over courage depending on the type of pet / natural temperament.
ns1985 15
many prey owners do