Animals: Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my...

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 490

You deserved it 15 108

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Same thing different taste

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 277

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 198

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 771

You deserved it 2 673

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 3 183

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 186

You deserved it 1 387

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 743

You deserved it 2 016

By Anonymousagb - 24/04/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 961

You deserved it 92 151

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 4 352

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 104

chosenblades 8

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:53

Would you like some hershey kisses?

Ambient25 24

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:56

After all those times you pretended to throw the ball, that puppy knew payback was in order...

Comments

RP559 5

Thursday 6 June 2013 22:13

He finally got revenge on you from "fake throwing" the ball/chew toy.

RavenCheyenneC 12

Friday 7 June 2013 3:23

I'm sorry, but that's ******* hilarious!!!!!

1911 3

Friday 7 June 2013 5:38

maybe its not shit but just your upper lip

1911 3

Friday 7 June 2013 5:40

and plus that good you'll live up to your name.....SHIT BREATH

nvo 6

Friday 7 June 2013 8:54

Yay for dogs. Many more years to come...

avapaige1234 19

Friday 7 June 2013 15:41

You almost kissed that shit!

lynnlove19 5

Monday 10 June 2013 4:53

Nasty AF!

ziy_fml 15

Friday 14 June 2013 12:08

Lol

AprilSky 3

Saturday 10 August 2013 3:09

Ass-tronomical luck you have, OP!

Alex_7759 13

Thursday 16 August 2018 23:24

That sounds kinda crappy

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The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 77

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 604

The Top

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 41 906

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 2 316

Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 86

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 375

You deserved it 3 172

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 148

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 2 256

Same thing different taste

Bad omen

Good boy

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