Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chosenblades 8
Would you like some hershey kisses?
Ambient25 25
After all those times you pretended to throw the ball, that puppy knew payback was in order...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
Cazz91 21
I don't know OP, I am a bit inclined to vote YDI on this one. The reason(s) why for that vote are the following: Would you have not seen the off color stain on top of your puppies head when you leaned down to kiss it? Assuming your puppy doesn't have black / dark brown fur. However, would you have not caught the scent of dog crap the closer you leaned in if that were the case of dog fur appearing the color of fecal matter? Unless your puppy managed to get a very tiny spot then I can see how both may have been missed if you leaned in fast to give him/her a kiss on the head.
olpally 33
How do you not see it or smell it on your dog?? Lol. Chew lots of gum and take a shower!!
x_the_lancer_x 13
Your username explains it all.
KeeLady 20
At least kitties don't roll in their shit.
Shmatterhorn 38
Man's best friend?
Flaum 7
FYL for suffering because you love your pup, but there probably have been plenty of other times you kissed or touched him after he was fresh from a doody roll or some other activity that left no visible traces. Pets are wonderful, but they can be nasty little creatures sometimes.
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
Maybe I have a bit of a. Super sniffer... But how did you not smell this long before touching him?
Attila90 4
just don't kiss your dog, it always sticks it nose in this kind of things...YDI
hclagopus 7
Not to make things worse for you, OP, but a dog rarely rolls in its own feces. If you are lucky, it may have come from another animal, but most likely it was human.
LifelessStars 22
Why would you even kiss your dog
Deviant_fml 5
Why wouldn't you? You pet it and show it affection, he slobbers all over you and barks a lot. That's usually the extent of your interactions. How do you not know this shit?