Today, in the booze aisle of Walmart at 1 a.m., an older woman asked for recommendations, telling me she's just trying to get drunk and enjoy herself as she recently found out that she's dying, signed her will that day and her family were being shitty about it. I picked a bottle, she thanked me and said, "Have a good life kid, and don't trust your fucking family." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my mother told me that for a period when I was a baby, every night she stood over my crib with a bottle of bourbon and a gun, convincing herself not to shoot me for ruining her life by being born when she was only 18. I wish I could be more like my siblings, who don't visit her anymore. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 25
Hugs and kisses to this woman!
phybreawptic 13
You're welcome for coming to your TED talk
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 30
Were you working in the booze aisle of Wal-Mart or were you just a fellow drunk trying to get their hooch?
Yudith 25
Hugs and kisses to this woman!
phybreawptic 13
You're welcome for coming to your TED talk