Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Foot in mouth
Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
Jinxed
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Place in the world fades away
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Cutie
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Not now, Doris
Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML
Spooky stuff
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Top comments
ummmyeahhh 0
ok, bad move. but if all you heard was heavy breathing, you'd think it was some creeper or a prank. so, yeah, i understand. hope your grandma is okay.
arms_akimbo 0
How could you know?
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Comments (157)
kellster 2
It's weird that she would have called you instead of 911! How were you supposed to know?
dasd123 0
#22 not always she may have rembered the number and forgotten how to talk... or any other things it all depends on the part of the brain that lost blood supply
Hot_Sauce 0
This one's kinda hard to believe. If I was an elderly man having a stroke, I wouldn't be calling my grandson, I'd be calling 911.
Natalie403 6
And I think it would be easier to remember the 3 digit 911 than a 10 digit normal phone number. xD
helloosunshinex3 0
i have no caller ID....dads too cheap for it =[. but if all i heard was breathing, id just hang up and do the *67 thing to see the number. thats just me though
xx_hayleyy 0
its not her fault!
wrestler_fml 0
To the person who said "i hope she'll understand".... she probably died. hard to understand when you're 6 feet under, u feel
tr_fml 0
Yeah, atleast she's dead now
Lou_Briccant 0
Wow #26, no Caller ID? It's practically built into phones these days.
Nandian90 0
Holy Crap! Man you could have atleast verified b4 you hanged up! Hope ur grandmother is alright, you deserve that one.
evanwilliams 4
Well that's obviously not a true story at all.