Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
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Top comments
ummmyeahhh 0
ok, bad move. but if all you heard was heavy breathing, you'd think it was some creeper or a prank. so, yeah, i understand. hope your grandma is okay.
arms_akimbo 0
How could you know?
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Comments (157)
asterificious 0
If only grandmas are computer literate, i could so see her posting an FML I almost died today, and i called for help. My grandchild told me to **** off. FML seriously, do something to make it up to her
ummmyeahhh 0
the grandmother probably called the house number out of habit, and couldn't figure out how to dial 911. i know my grandma has my parents' house on her speed dial, and she has confused 911 and 411 for as long as i can remember. and after a stroke, it's normal for her not to be able to function as usual. so everyone, stop the preaching. the op couldn't have known!
sexyReDD 0
exactly what i was thinking.
CinematicSunset 0
This is obviously a lie.
uh_oh 0
Umm, not everyone HAS caller ID
KiyatsuFox 0
#28 and #29 are extremely mean...and anyone else who said she's dead. I do hope she's alright though. o_o
srsmr123 0
is your grandmother ok?
DeathRoad 0
That's terrible, I'm so sorry that this happened. It's not entirely your fault. Maybe you should be such a dick to your friends, but in any aspect, it's just a terrible event. I hope your grandma is okay
TreyHeavyMetal 0
oh shit, LOL. that sucks ass, mate!
AliSama 17
I hope your grandmother is okay! Go be with her!
daniellap 0
LOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is the funniest story I've seen in a long time, especially the " you ******" part haha! Definitely don't blame yourself, I say the same things if I hear heavy breathing on the phone! though I really hope your grandma is okay! *crosses fingers*