By Pill popping zit monster - 23/12/2016 04:16

Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 172
You deserved it 646

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...and a partridge in a pear tree ?

I mean, that's awful, obviously, but damn. This was really cleverly written, OP

Comments

...and a partridge in a pear tree ?

It's the fever blister on her lips

Am I the only one who started singing this in my head to the tune of that song?

Pretty sure that's what OP was going for

Well that sounds like a bloody catastrophe

I mean, that's awful, obviously, but damn. This was really cleverly written, OP

There's a song in here somewhere...

Girl, you're everywhere! :P flaunting that FML staff badge to all potential suitors.

I just really dug this FML. Hi!

Definitely digging it with you. :D

drayloon 50

"On the fourth day of mensuration, my period gave to me..."

I FEEL THIS! While...no I haven't had nearly all of your problems, I have had intense shits, thrown up once, and been shaky and felt like the world was coming to an end. I hope things get better for you, stay strong!

I honestly thought I was the only girl that went through this. I thought my period was just bitchier than the rest lol

ChiefKoala 30

Nahh...Mine are gods awful. I've vomited and passed out from mine. I get light headed, and it rotates from shits to constipation, and sometimes within the same period.

Dude, exactly! Don't forget to add a migraine and ridiculously heavy flow and insomnia.

dblogic 19

Strangely, I too take comfort in seeing that I'm not the only one with the world's worst period. I don't get the PMS psychosis that can be common but the physical symptoms are fucking awful & make you wish you were dead....zits galore & diarrhea a week before Aunt Flo arrives, bloating up like a balloon, ultra-sized tampons, cramps so bad that you feel like you've been kicked in the lower abdomen by every player on the world's best soccer team for 3 days, gobbling ibuprofen like they're tic tacs, intense back pain, headaches, weakness & insomnia until the meds kick in but waking up in agony when they wear off. And guys wonder why we get a little moody!? I know, I know, TMI, sorry!

your rhymes have made me want to go and watch how the Grinch sole Christmas!

Five Golden showers?

She already mentioned having the shits or there'd be a golden rings joke in there.

Kudos for turning your misery into a clever parody. You should sell that to Weird Al.

Honestly never heard of period giving cold sores. Might want to check for heroes or other issues

That's an epic typo.

cootiequeen4444 11

one could say it's 'super'

It is not because of the period per se. Periods do tend to weaken people and that's when those sores come out. :) Anyway. No need to check for herpes. Cause the sores are caused by the herpes virus. Many of us carry it, without knowing it or having issues from it. :D

Stress can weaken the immune system as well, causing the virus to show its ugly face. Clearly, OP is experiencing a stressful time.

Go on birth control to level out your hormones? And depending on the type, have no periods at all?

Even with birth control you have to take a break each month. You can skip it once in a while, like if it falls on a vacation week or beach day, but not resting for long periods of time from the pill which is only meant to negate the ovulation process, not the period, isn't really recommended because it can start to affect the overall health.

I have an IUD, no period and no breaks :P

I have taken a birth control pill every single day for years and haven't had a period in at least three years now.