Miscellaneous: Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they...

By vsf - 02/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 037

You deserved it 6 584

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Same thing different taste

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 942

You deserved it 3 249

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 483

You deserved it 3 417

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 40

By sickbaby - 11/06/2011 13:06 - Singapore

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 389

You deserved it 3 234

Alexa, play "Schizophrenia" by Sonic Youth

By But is killing them really that bad? - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 3 271

By crazymirrors - 28/07/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 928

You deserved it 6 280

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 22:02 - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 567

You deserved it 7 535

Freaked out

By Cliffhanger - 10/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 699

mandywaffles 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...

Gamakichi 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.

Comments

gofferurself 10

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:39

choke on cotton candy? Your family realizes that it would desolve??? Sorry, FYL

potondoor 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:31

Funniest parents ever

Skroal_stomper 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 11:04

Bust out the windows in the car. When they ask why tell them your low IQ made you do it. Then ask for a corn-dog.

happyabby123 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 21:57

But u must be pretty smart in order to figure out how to vhoke on cotton candy. Don't u think???lol!

David199619 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 22:36

You're the one who says reckon, hick much?

hashnasnne 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 14:30

Well, if you were able to post this, then your IQ is probably higher than your parents thought.

help_us_lisa 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 13:11

Well ya if you're using words like 'reckon' then you probably are that dumb.

lemonademixer 7

Tuesday 5 February 2013 7:53

You've got enough IQ to type this down

luckylucas26 9

Monday 25 November 2013 7:07

Well the last half of this makes no sense, I reckon low IQs run in your family...

PlasmaPorter 12

Thursday 20 March 2014 23:39

Well if you say 'reckon' a whole lot I don't see why your parents are getting hated on

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 582

You deserved it 16 950

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 241

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 802

You deserved it 5 635

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 034

You deserved it 3 792

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 287

You deserved it 1 223

Today, I worked as a cashier at a rummage sale at my church to raise money for the homeless. My bag was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 1 316

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 3 226