Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
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Top comments
mandywaffles 0
I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...
Gamakichi 0
Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.
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Comments (166)
SorrowFull 8
sounds like your parents are cheap and don't want to go spend money and are making excuses not to go
Ren_Baby 0
It sounds unlikely that op's parents said this word for word. As its, I hope, obviously impossible to choke on fair cotton candy (unless consumed in very large quantities) This FML was obviously exaggerated at least a tad. However, if it really did go something like that I'm really sorry OP that must suck. I would've went anyway :P
Bobberfrank 3
for starters, you said reckon. you must have a very high IQ john wayne!
Carlie_McCartney 1
Mmm, I feel this one was Southern-fried, amirite?
Bloodywolf20 9
To all that thank that talkin like a hillbilly makes you stupid It dont Im a gun totin hillbilly an im also an chemist and an engineer So on behalf of all the smart hillbilly's in the world **** off
becca47 0
Well you talk terribly....
horrorfreak79nj 2
The funny thing about this FML is that some guy randomly pulled it out of his ass & see how people would respond. Unfortunately, most people were dumb enough to take it seriously. (Howeve
nitemare0 17
If you say "reckon" then yes they are correct
coltsrock37 15
Looks like you qualify for social insecurity benefits
becca47 0
Are you from Kentucky?
mockingjay_fml 0
Obviously they were kidding .. awk !