Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
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Top comments
mandywaffles 0
I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...
Gamakichi 0
Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.
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Comments (166)
Mbaskette 0
You used a word like reckon, YDI.
perdix 31
The fair isn't exactly a Mensa meeting. With things like fried butter and pig races, the fair seems like hog heaven for morons.
WoshJinchell93 11
I don't even think the majority of users on here know what Mensa is lol. A win for the intelligent people.
Carlie_McCartney 1
Woohoo, intelligence! (:
Ugi 27
Your parents are badly misguided. Firstly, if you want your kid to turn out dumb, the best thing you can do is to tell them they are stupid. They will then assume that they can't do things and will stop trying (obviously I'm simplifying). Secondly, IQ is an exact measure of how well you can answer IQ tests. It has some correlation with your ability at applied mathematics but has absolutely no bearing on your ability to cross the street safely. I have met some people with startlingly high IQs in my time and many of those are hopeless in everyday situations. An absolute genius maths professor I once knew could teach relativity to 12-year-olds but couldn't balance his bank account. Finally, the single most significant factor in determining IQ is genetics - your IQ is likely to be very close to that of your parents! Your parents are making excuses. And rather poor ones.
CharlieeMurphy 0
Wow who are you bill ****** nye or something? Kid just said his parents won't let him go to the fair.. I'm sure noone wants to hear you go on about IQs....
KARMAREBEL 0
your comment is so long that I have a hard time thumbing u down
corbendo 3
^ shut up...
viciousdeli 0
Shut up you ignorant bigot. I found it quite interesting, better than most weightless, moronic comments on this site. You know, like yours.
t765234 10
You get a thumbs up for intelligence, good job on the comment, teach these idiots something.
Ugi 27
Nobody is forced to read a comment - if you're sufficiently illiterate that a dozen lines is too much effort then skip on. To those who made the effort - thank you.
KARMAREBEL 0
damn it's all about genetic inheritance
wriptidez 0
lol well your grammar indicates your quite normal
t765234 10
You're* Had to do it for the ironic factor.
Ugi 27
Sadly, "your" in place of "you're" is pretty normal!
rhysfucker 24
Sorry OP; life is like a box of chocolates...
OrigamiProdigy 0
His name might be Forest....
xNephilim 19
It doesn't last long for fat people?? :o
teh_uber_muffin 3
YDI for being ******* stupid. TROLOLOLOLOLOL!
Zalandia 0
"reckon" that proves it lol. jk though, fyl
Endelasia 0
you know? that happens to me ALL the time. I can totally relate. your parents are so right in trying to keep you safe.
agsilver 14
Is it though???? >:-)