Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Queasy
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Freakout
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Family time
Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Alexa, play "Schizophrenia" by Sonic Youth
Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Coulrophobia
Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML
Freaked out
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
Top comments
mandywaffles 0
I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...
Gamakichi 0
Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.
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Comments (166)
GamerMatt97 0
Hey just prove 2 them that u can go to the fair.don't let your RETARDED parents discourage u.
woody768 0
So avoid cotton candy and the hall of mirrors :P
SupaDupaMouse 2
There was this narrow hall of mirrors thing and I decided to run through and I ran into a reflection of the real path I was supposed to go
CharlieeMurphy 0
Damn mazes got you ****** up lookin for that cheese ehh supamouse?
brownli 6
I would leave them. Make it big then laugh in their face
rummydummy 3
sounds like your parents IQ is lower than yours
fmlsaresofunnyy 8
Your parents think your dumb? What do they know??? THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT COTTON CANDY DISSOLVES IN YOUR MOUTH!! Sorry that you have to deal with mean parents like that. :/
thewife5 19
I think they do know.. that's why they said it. maybe it's a mean way of calling her accident prone
iCandy2011 1
Lmao who still says reckon?
johnboy1501 0
british people do! well. londoners anyway!
SinT2011 0
I think their iq is lower then yours. :p
goodboys 0
Considering you use words like "reckon" I can see where they would get that idea.
hbbs93 6
Exactly what I was thinking haha.
kaylapple 1
who chokes on cotton candy.!?