HylianFox
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ghostrui
🌶️ Spicy
Curious
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
oliverP123
United States
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
not as scarred as he should be
Cambridge, Canada
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
TMI
United States
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
NeoDepressed
Czech Republic
Today, my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if I wanted a therapist. I said that I didn't know. Then my mom said, "But wait, it's going to cost a lot of money!" FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Anonymous
Tense family drama
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
That Girl with the Amazon Parrot
United States
Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML
me.
Norman, United States
Hard shoulder
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Top comments
gunmania0 12
More importantly, was it shaven or furred?
teague95 16
post a picture let us judge
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Comments (95)
kareltje 17
How old were your parents again?
5HT2A 5
That's always better then you being passed out from being completely wasted and having a penis drawn on your forehead with a permanent marker. Now THAT is something akward to talk about if your parents see that.
kittenvks 11
Even more awkward if you're parents drew it
tmd4L 7
That's an interesting cut.
AcidLacedBong 5
I do believe someone should turn this into one of those picture fml's!!!
bubo_fml 11
"Honey, it looks like an ax wound!" "No, more like a wizard's sleeve." "How about a clown's pocket?" "Could be terriyaki strips hanging over a door knob!"
teyyoshi 19
to be honest, i want to have a pussy tatoo or a spider tatoo, but i cant have cuz i will be a teacher, i should be serious!!
5HT2A 5
Lol wtf???
McDonaldsworker 4
What the ****! Like a sex Ed teacher? I honestly can't think of another teaching position where that would be appropriate.
MustangGirl72 9
That's a bit random.
McDonaldsworker 4
I like how your not quite sure if you want to plaster a pussy or a spider on yourself, such a hard decision...
GreenAppleDP 0
Lol. Just merge them.
Enslaved 38
I know someone that tattooed a pair of legs around his hairy armpit. Every time he lifted his arm, you saw his bushy pit. Lol
RamenForTheWin 10
So? My newspaper teacher had a tattoo of a rose on her left wrist, a spider on the back of her neck, and a "HP" (as in Harry Potter) on her right ankle. And she was awesome.
bubo_fml 11
"It feels so nice, when you cut a slice!" (For the unimaginative, it's a euphamism for the act of copulation!)
kittenvks 11
You get thumbed down a lot don't you?
McDonaldsworker 4
Hey #68 Let's all get thumbed down together!
yuggi1 11
Well, the cut was bleeding... it reminded your patents of other things that "bleed" too. I lol'd.
AugustBurnsToast 14
I guess your growing a ******. That's what happens when you let it get infected.
my3rdgenipodtouc 0
Did your dad try it out?