Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
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Top comments
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Grown men buttfucking each other. Sounds intresting.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
dude that's not soccer (or football) your describing thats gay **** :o
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Comments (102)
LPfan4L 1
Buttf****ing each other huh? Gay ****? I've been playing soccer my whole life, it's one of the hardest sports you can play. You have to be able to run for 90 minutes, and have damn good balance an coordination. It's not an easy sport. I've broken my collar bone and my jaw in two places playing it. So idk what the hell any of you that are talking sh*t on soccer know about the sport. And it IS played in the states, are you dumb? All I have to say is if you homosexual mind and saw it as buttf****ing, then yeah, FYL...
LardZilla 11
Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?
soupisyummy 13
Shut up soccer is amazing.
XtraEzeee 8
Soccer huh? I've had sex all my life, and it's one of the hardest things you can do. You had to be able to go for 90 minutes, and have damn good balance and coordination. It's not an easy task. I've broken my collar bone and my jaw in two places doing it. So idk what the hell any of you who are talking shit on buttfucking know about the art.
XtraEzeee 8
Soccer huh? I've had sex all my life, and it's one of the hardest things you can do. You had to be able to go for 90 minutes, and have damn good balance and coordination. It's not an easy task. I've broken my collar bone and my jaw in two places doing it. So idk what the hell any of you who are talking shit on buttfucking know about the art.
LPfan4L 1
90 minutes of sex is hard for you? Damn, that sucks. What, do you have E.D. Or something? I'm talking about soccer, one of the few sports played in pretty much every country on earth, not your shitty sex life... You wanna be a smart ass, do it somewhere else. Maybe while you're having sex, so it's more fun for you.
XtraEzeee 8
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bleachers.
XtraEzeee 8
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bleachers.
PYLrulz 17
YDI. Soccer is fun to watch, and I'm American!
Isoldael 27
YDI for the way you worded this FML. Not liking something is perfectly fine, describing it like this is plain disrespectful to anyone who plays or likes soccer/football.
IamTRUEBLOOD 2
I used to play soccer, it wasn't buttfucking, but ******* challenging it was. Legs in pain, sore in every joint. But look on the bright side of walking home..........lol You deserved it.
luckyjohnny08 1
Hmm ignorance must be wonderful, I've played soccer for twenty years and never seen any butt screwing going on. As for five miles? Pshhh, wuss. Should try playing soccer. One team I played for had a coach that expected his starting lineup to be able to sprint six miles per game.
ashleybabe85 0
and in the end the one that got butteffed was u
Random017 7
YDI based on your attitude alone.
newburton13 26
Your parents are assholes.
FMLandurstoo 9
You disgust me for describing soccer as butt *******. Soccer players respect other sports. So respect ours. Ydi for being an asswipe.
Rocky007 15
I feel for you OP. Soccer is very boring--2 or three guys running, 19-20 standing around.