Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
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Top comments
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Grown men buttfucking each other. Sounds intresting.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
dude that's not soccer (or football) your describing thats gay **** :o
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Comments (102)
bugmenotmofo 34
You're a spoiled, self-centered little priss. Your family included you, and you did nothing but whine. YDI (the walk home) for being unable to look outside yourself and enjoy your time with your family.
Beeisc00l 5
Hah!
bandit1107 6
If ur a girl u suppose to like thay unless ur a lesbien nd soccer is a really good sport
loginword123 0
Haha soccer is boring
tj4234 36
it's called football, not soccer. God I hate Americanisations >.>. You guys could at least use the name that the country who made it popular uses... but yes, with the exception of cricket football is the worlds most boring sport to watch.
TheGreenArrow 3
I think you mean American football. And what about swimming or tennis?
tj4234 36
no I mean regular football like the British play. Swimming and Tennis usually don't last as long as football or cricket, therefore they are less boring
Driveshaft 5
You sound like an ass. No offense, I used to be an ass too, hopefully you'll get over it some day.
SouthernPride95 19
I use to be an ass then i took an arrow to the knee
Platfoot 0
why do the states hate soccer so much? they call it gay, but with soccer they dont jump on top of others and touch them.
SouthernPride95 19
Haven't you heard people call em foot fairies?
l0v3p4in 7
OP, cheer up. It's good exercise after a good nap.
LOLimCuteFML 0
Excercise my friend excercise.
ToYSolDieRz 0
wow show a little more respect for soccer you ******* bitch.