Intimacy: Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother...

By UGH - 31/08/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 2 929

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By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 707

You deserved it 6 209

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 219

You deserved it 799

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 235

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream, "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 712

You deserved it 3 996

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 733

You deserved it 32 233

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 327

You deserved it 3 345

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 383

You deserved it 3 883

Gentle

By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/08/2020 14:05

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 484

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 162

You deserved it 3 340

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

Comments

Raachhhx3 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:49

looks like your mom is a ******* trooper x]

coldplaylive2003 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:36

you are never old enough to hear that fyl

yourfavoritemofo 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 4:40

Holy shit, yah really, **** ur life, atleast for awhile

zpicci 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:21

his username perfects the FML

FuckUpXNote 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:31

HA HA HA!

feed_the_ducks 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 6:30

Sounds like your dad is proud of his sex skills. Poor you, the trauma you have to endure from learning this must be difficult.

TarasTrouble 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:59

wow i dont think your ever old enough to hear that one. ughhh

Masta_Blasta 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 15:33

aawhahahahhahahaaah ha aha ahahaa... that is awesome. :]

j_miller_ 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 4:42

hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaah i love that...that's what I'm telling my kids.

lolthatsucks101 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 4:55

ahahahahaha wow took me a minute to get that one but once i did lmao!! ahahahahahahahahahaha

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Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 046

You deserved it 3 082

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 005

You deserved it 4 491

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 995

You deserved it 3 448

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 083

You deserved it 7 507

Today, I found sex tapes on my husband's computer of me and him. Not only have I never done a sex tape, we were doing stuff I’ve never done before. Turns out he got an AI to make them, since I don’t do that stuff for him, he thought the acceptable alternative was to make fakes to wank over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 474

Today, an ex-boyfriend of mine came to the jewelry store I work at to pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend. The same guy who just a few months earlier ended our 8-year relationship because I wanted marriage and he didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 138