Intimacy: Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother... - FML

By UGH - 31/08/2009 23:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 119

You deserved it 2 920

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 682

You deserved it 6 200

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 787

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 221

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 680

You deserved it 3 991

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 708

You deserved it 32 153

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 231

You deserved it 3 318

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 358

You deserved it 3 877

Gentle

By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/08/2020 14:05

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 459

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 129

You deserved it 3 333

Next

Top comments

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

Comments

sexymessy 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:12

lol.If you believed that the whole time they should of just kept it a secret.Be sure to buy sone headphones lol

MissJlk 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:14

Too funny

19lollipop96 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:22

how old r u? and yaaaa I know how that can bee ralpphhyyyyy(: ha I only use the iPod touch appp!(:

sd_fan46 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:35

No you have nightmares

liquidbunny 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:41

Haha, your dad is still gettin dem drawls. It's effing nasty for you, hilarious for the rest of us. But look at the bright side your parents are still together at least enough to have good sex.

jessicadawg 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:42

FYL. That's way too much information. Can you say awkward silence?

Eelusive 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:56

Go mom!!!!

KillU2009 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:18

Go Dad!

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:40

Uhm, yeah, awkward. You really didn't need to know that. I didn't either xD

Noah_h 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:53

moaning/screaming = ******

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Music Names Kids Customers Work Bodyshaming Coworkers Awkward Money Roommate Landlords Parents Dogs Allergies AITA Embarrassing Cute Neighbours Singing Ironic Health Accident Animals Cats Love Airport Cheating Sex Intimacy Relationship advice

The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 304

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 023

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, my dreams are populated mostly by grocery store employees, people from NextDoor, my cat, and people I haven’t seen in 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 112

Today, I told my boss to choose between A and B, with A achieving his longterm goal, and B producing a quick win, but not leading to anywhere near A. He told me to come with a "hybrid" approach." FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 171

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 982

You deserved it 3 188

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 1 837

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 110

You deserved it 3 720

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 3 389