By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 660
You deserved it 3 279

imchacon22 tells us more.

Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.

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Why are you waiting for him to change his mind? Tell him no - period. Remind him of the way she treated you on your one and only visit with her and tell him that you are not going to live like that on a full time basis. The fact that the house is in your name isn't even an issue here. What is an issue is that he thinks he can move people into the house without bothering to make sure that you are ok with it. Then again if he does not have the heart to say no he just might be waiting for you to step up and do it for him. "Sorry, my wife won't let me." is a much easier thing to tell your mother than the truth. Either way it will be a definite fml and f your marriage if you let someone who does not respect you move in.

That's pretty fucked up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?

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Maybe so, however in most marriages letting the In-laws move in at any stage is a very long discussion. Several long discussions actually

\ 28

And no one likes their in-laws.

Very true #7 but a small amount of people are lucky and don't get mean bitter in-laws.

Not entirely true #7. My in laws are awesome and welcomed me into the family with open arms.

Some in laws are cool, others are not. Granted you might just be a shitty in law yourself if you don't think the person deserves your kid. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't it technically 50% his house anyway if you're married? ... Now before I get beat down, he should've asked you, hope your in laws nice blah blah blah

Not necessarily; the house could still be in her name and they might have a pre-nup.

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7, I love my in-laws and my husband loves my family. I don't know if we could take them living with us for the fact that we don't want to live with our parents. But an extended visit wouldn't be terrible.

@36: I see you're getting downvoted, but in the real world your comment is not entirely wrong even though it's a bit exaggerated. The courts are on our side. :)

#36 that is false. If her name is on something and not his , it is I fact hers. The house for instance. If it is entirely in her name, she can kick him out and he can't do Otho g about it. It's hers. The only thing the court can do is split the items they say they bought together. For instance her cell phone. It's i her name he can't just take it now can he? No. Same with the house. Her name her house. Just be purse your married it doesn't make everything automatically theirs too unless you both bought it together. If you bought it yourself and have a receipt or proof that it's yours, it is yours. What if someone in your family passed down a special gem or jewelry and your spouse wanted it and you guys where getting devolved? It would be yours. In the will if it was passed down to "Kate" then "mark" couldn't take it from you. Not everything is his/hers.

#1, spoken like one who knows nothing of relationships. Once married, your spouse becomes your primary familial relationship. In Western cultures, inviting others into your home, especially parents, is usually a large strain and oft times it is destructive. The husband had a responsibility to talk with his wife before offering lodging to anyone, yes, even a parent.

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53; So many typos, had to down vote just for that! -.-

No, I'm sorry, that isn't how it actually works. Unless they have mutually agreed to co-own something, then what they own is their possession. Marrying someone doesn't automatically divid all their belongings in half. That's just silly.

7- Both of my parents love their in-laws.

#75 - the issue isn't that the house is supposedly in OP's name. The issue is that OP is married and still distinguishing between what is "mine" and "yours". Kind of defies the purpose of becoming one, as clichéd as it sounds. For arguments sake, take this extreme example: does he need to ask for permission to use her shower? Or in a different case: let's say their car is in her name too. Would he need to ask permission to drive it? Granted, he should still have discussed the in-law situation with OP.

59- I know where you're coming from with that. When I first used FML it seemed like every comment was a joke, or at least a humorous perspective. Now everyone takes everything so seriously. Looking down the thread of this FML I saw maybe two jokes. I took a hiatus for weeks from this site because of it. Now I come back and by the looks of it one of the three or four people trying to be humorous are being attacked simply for making a joke you didn't think was funny? Well I don't think any of your comments are funny, so I guess I'll start thumbing everyone down. Maybe when I joined FML, it was during a golden age of comedy. The outlandish wit of perdix, the serious yet hilarious musings of DocB, Noor's insane jokes, that i sometimes didnt understand, but still appreciated, even you Pie, if you're still out there, these are just that stick out in my mind, there are countless really funny people who are here for a laugh. So why so serious, FML of today? Is this really a site of dry, emotionless people reading stories about bad things that happen to other people now?

Once your married isn't it ya'lls house? I am not saying I side with your husband. he should have talked it over with you, but it just strikes me odd that you said your house. Good luck OP

#83 I'm glad to see that some of you still think that FML is actually a humorous website and if you want to have fun on a supposed light website like this and that you speak a bit of French then visit the French one, ppl can actually take jokes on there and don't take themselves so seriously !

Mimi, you wouldn't be down voted if your comments were actually funny.

That's pretty fucked up that your husband wouldn't talk to you first about someone moving in, even if it's family. Hopefully she's not a monster-in-law, right?

There's always hope it will only temporary, and maybe you could cope for a bit despite the fact she could be a "monster-in-law"

since when is this kind of thing temporary??

OP, how long have you two been married? I mean, your husband should know by now that all but the most minor decisions should be discussed together before the choice is made.

39 I was in the army and let me tell you, a large portion of the men in the army don't think that way. it is unfortunate.

Just make sure he stays in the army, unless you mean back from a deployment, in which case FYL

I'd like to point out just because someone is serving in the military doesn't necessarily mean that they're deployed or going to be deployed. My father served in the military and as far as I know in the 20+ years has never been to war, as well as plenty of other friends/family that has or is serving has not nor will be deployed.

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Don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to bash our military, but just because someone is a troop doesn't give them the right or entitlement to do as they please.

So, because he fought in the army, he now controls everything? His wife no longer has a say?

This is a ridiculous statement. Ask yourself this: if a waiter at Dennys did this to his wife, would it be wrong? If yes, then it's wrong if an army man does it. Wrong is wrong; being in the military doesn't mean you get to play by different rules when it comes to your personal life. I honestly can't figure out why you think it does.

but it's her house... not his.

They're married. It should be both their house. She's possessive of "her" things and he doesn't consult her for big decisions. It seems neither of them really thinks of marriage as a full partnership.

40- If they just got married and they aren't living together yet, it may still be "her" house.

Just because he's in the army doesn't mean he gets to do whatever he wants

Send him back to his mom. That's the place where he belongs.

Well, at least you found out c:

You make it seem as if there was a possibility that she would never find out. The only way that would happen was if that was the plot of a sitcom. "In-laws, in the house, in disguise."

It's pretty understandable if she's fallen on hard times, but he really should have asked you. Is it supposed to be permanent or temporary?

Sorry about this op, maybe he'll learn to ask you about it next time

No. She needs to stand her ground and say no if she's not comfortable with it.

I agree. We don't know what kind of arrangement they have - how many living places or how they got them - but clearly OP considers this her place and it's likely she owned it before the marriage. While maybe she shouldn't refuse her in law on the grounds that the place is hers (considering they're married), she could always refuse on the grounds that she does not want to live with her mother in law.

Um #12....NEXT time?!?

Give him some scissors. Time to cut the umbilical cord.

Shame it was meant to be surprise... "Your mom-law was meant to jump out from hiding... Screaming I'm back, mean as we've twice as ugly!!!" Ha ha ha

Ha ha ha. That one was good one! I don't get it..... at all.

Can you please explain your comment 12? I don't quite understand what you're trying to say.