Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
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Top comments
OneandOnlyOne 0
Do NOT let your friend use your phone any more.
misspeg 0
u got a friend who still stays smart enough to use your phone and not hers when she's drunk? props 2 her. I usually don't have a clue when I'm wasted. just keep an eye on your phone from now on. FYL.
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Comments (91)
cl9595 0
why do you have your teachers phone number?
Ohnothingreally 0
She's not your best friend. She's using you for your phone. -Dundundun-.
Quinnjamin 0
Hey, at least you didn't have my old math teacher, he creeped on pretty much every girl in the class.
Allymeme 3
ydi for having your math teachers phone number
Arcterion 0
Ach ja, stalkers zal je altijd houden. :P
joshizzle3 1
ydi for not knowing am and pm
kindness 0
um, how exactly does your friend have access to your cellphone every weekend? and why would you let her use it if she was obviously drunk? and how do you not realise who she's calling? and yes, why is she gettinf drunk at 2 pm. a lot about this doesn't add up... unless you're all morons or something.
Ninjaface 0
The most negative part of this is that it zeroed the probability of your ever getting your teacher to bisect your angle with his orthogonal ray. Your roommate is quite obtuse.
alexandraa_fml 0
She obviously meant 2am ya dodo's.
Maxine17 8
WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR TEACHERS NUMBER?! Also, as everyone else has, 2pm? Nice.