Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate of over 8 years assumed “the rag” I keep “above the toilet” was meant for wiping, and “the rag” on the separate towel rack was for washing your face. I have used the hand towel “above the toilet” to dry my hands after washing for a decade. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate took a shower, and I decided that I would take one in the morning. This morning, I found out after I got out of the shower that my roommate used one towel for drying himself, and the other for a mat. He didn't hang either of them up. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
It adds volume and body and gives your hair definite character
SlimShady167 3
Haha what the ****? That's gross:/ Sorry OP, FYL
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Comments (132)
MyS3lf 24
Holy crappin christ! That is so nasty, you need to kick her ass out! WTH?! Good grief...
mfgforlife23 5
AUUUGGGH! WHY? WHY? WHY?!
bubo_fml 11
Next time she showers, replace her towel w/a roll of loo paper...
RaquelRox2299 0
Get another roommate!
snookster 2
lol get a new roommate
chrisg2001 3
I don't give a **** who they are, but they need to catch a beat down.
insurednotoriety 0
Eeeeww wtf that is not normal..
kaykay20 0
I think I know her..not the most sane person I've met. Try talking to her and see if it was because she prefers something softer or just didn't like you. Either way keep your towel where she can't use it.
yankfan89 27
Wipe your ass with her bed sheets
zombiekitten87 12
Retaliation is in order. You can either wipe your ass with all her pillowcases, defecate on her clean laundry, or replace some of her apple juice with your urine. Personally, I would at least do all that and much, much more.