Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
Be thankful, honesty in a marriage is very key to a long and successful one.
Nomadic1 20
I thought women want a guy that is honest :p
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Comments (91)
DisposableMen 7
But hey, the rest of the night was great, right? Surely you wouldn't let a simple comment like that ruin your wesding experience
Ari1337 15
that doesn't mean It's okay for her husband to say that during the first dance.
worldclassrager 41
Carry some mints with you?
outoftown 27
That's what bridesmaids are for.
untouchable763 10
Your "new husband"? Did you recycle the old one?
charrmaander 10
That's love. Being able to tell someone the truth, if he didn't make a big fuss about it I honestly wouldn't take offence. I hope your marriage is full of great happiness and honesty :)
FlyingPie 17
I bet you were hoping he'd be a breath of fresh air?
lochiamochia 25
OP, just go gargle some mouthwash and brush your teeth. Nothing too serious to get your panties in a wad, love. Spouses are mirrors for each other. If he had malodorous breath, too, wouldn't you be honest and tell him? Who wants to kiss someone with dinosaur's breath?
Sandman366 6
This is where he follows up with "So I need to stuff some food in it so it smells better."
Sandman366 6
(I mean that as in "feed her some cake".)
FrankHotpants 31
Damn those crab cakes.
Joseph980000 6
Oh well shit happens