Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
Be thankful, honesty in a marriage is very key to a long and successful one.
Nomadic1 20
I thought women want a guy that is honest :p
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Comments (91)
LittleLiar13 6
That's when you say "that's just your upper lip babe"
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol don't take it to the heart. He told you cause he loves you.
Xotoolyxo 16
Where is your bridesmaid with the breath mints!?
sykokitti 15
Lmao im so sorry but that was funny next time chew on a piece of orange peal
SaturnV 25
His timing was not the best, but I still think it was kinder for him to tell you during the dance than it would be to let you spend your entire wedding with bad breath. Especially since the bride and groom are usually (depending on the culture) expected to greet and speak with all of their guests.
Fedezzer 20
Tic-Tac ad.
Poetaster 10
And you should have said.."your not gettin any tonight... So my breath wont be an issue"
ArianaLuvU 14
At least he's honest.
ohhey_di 10
At least he's honest!
CrissyyyS2 22
To think about it... it could have been worse. He could have said it out loud where everyone heard it!