Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
Be thankful, honesty in a marriage is very key to a long and successful one.
Nomadic1 20
I thought women want a guy that is honest :p
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Comments (91)
BadApple88 29
Honesty is the best policy and at least he didnt make a scene right
outoftown 27
Honesty is the best policy, but tact and timing are what make it effective.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Just entering the honeymoon period and you're already at exposing the stinky breath. Let's just say this will be interesting to come back to.
dzhonatan 14
Honesty is key! And, your response should've been, "Damn, I was saving that for tonight."
Treveyon56 14
I thought memory was the key. (waits to see how many get the reference )
LithFlavored 10
Rather you hear it from him than someone else
michelleJ11 25
At least he was being honest ...
vinayj009 5
Your body releases a lot of sweat and saliva under pressure and anxiety and lots of gas. So its natural for your mouth to stink. Dont worry
redbandit9877 12
I know weddings are supposed to be the perfect day for the bride and all, but I probably would have cracked up at that.
WildWonder808 14
For better or worse right? lol Don't be afraid to steal the toothpaste from your honeymoon suite.
the_real_dvd 21
It's probably a good thing he told you considering all the friends and relatives you were bound to be face to face to and hugging. This way, you had time to "freshen up". Although, a quick aside after the dance would've been more appropriate.
HeartOfLead 24
At least he whispered, and besides if this is the only thing that went wrong, then your wedding didn't turn out that bad.