Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
Be thankful, honesty in a marriage is very key to a long and successful one.
Nomadic1 20
I thought women want a guy that is honest :p
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Comments (91)
termin8tor786 10
Good thing he told you, or all the guest would have to put up with your stinky breath!
9011kn 6
Sounds like the beginning of an Icebreakers commercial :/
igottafeelingxo 9
At least he told you before you went around talking to a bunch of people ^.^
jess_wileyy 12
LOL, that's kinda funny.
DarthVader77 9
Openbess an honesty are the pillars of successgul relations. So, he is going to be a good husband
Livingstone187 2
brush yo teeth, brush yo teeth... brush your goddamn teeth
silvanawernli 5
ummmm.....that marriage is going to last long.
1crabbygirl 10
Some people suffer from a bacteria that can be eliminated with prescription mouthwash. I would like to see the comments about the guy who refused to marry the girl with the bad breath. Get over yourself, Princess. Your breath stinks, fix it.
jsc9306 14
You know the honeymoon is over, when....
cho_bee 9
Just whisper, "Lick my ass and we'll be even!"