Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML
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Top comments
Lindsaykae 0
kick his ass.
crabgass 3
o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away
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Comments (103)
SeaNDouble 1
#18 fail. just don't do it and give him a hard time about something.
MrHankey0123 0
it's not America. they might not have that
johnnyg1018 0
hahahah
cherylface 13
Your life is not ******. I'm sure you took a joke out of context because you thought it would make a funny FML; it doesn't. Let's play along and pretend he was serious. Just imagine the outlandish possibility that you DON'T call him King Kong or bow. What kind of retaliation does he have? None. And if he was stupid enough to try anything you could report him to HR. The end.
Rickyretardo 0
call him king thong
Ross_H 0
Personally I'd call him 'Wanker' with a smile, then I'd bow.
SapphireSympathy 7
wooow. ur life soooo sucks *sarcasm* i bet the dude was just kidding, and if he wasnt, ur working in a seriously f**ked up job. so the next time he walks past you, completely ignore him and pretend u didnt even notice him. YDI
ilynunezz 0
ok?
birdiesgirl0509 0
You could always call him King Dong instead.... ^_^
osirisfrost 0
get in a biplane and shoot his silly ass of the highest building.