Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML
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Top comments
Lindsaykae 0
kick his ass.
crabgass 3
o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away
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Comments (103)
greyy_goooose 11
oh mann. 18 if freaking great! i love it. :D
kingkong954 0
how is this an fml, it should be an FMCW(**** my co worker) that little bitch stole my idea
I3ear 0
unless shes talking about you???
zach55 0
instead you should flip him off whenever he walks by you :D
bookbee 2
How's about you call him ********, and flip him off as he goes by?
pariah13 0
WTF Mate?
curryish0tt 0
tell him to kiss ur ass
boopiie 3
ha, he's funnie
robc32ca 4
call him Queen Dong and be done with it!
upintheorange 5
then send him off to get into character.
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
SO?? That guy or girl sounds funny to me but if it's bothering u that much kick him in his nads or her vag