Work: Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King...

By earths_venus - 24/07/2010 07:44 - Australia

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

agreeclassic 30 988

vote type 1 3 620

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By Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

agreeclassic 30 341

vote type 1 4 286

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

agreeclassic 429

vote type 1 482

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

agreeclassic 25 812

vote type 1 3 429

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

agreeclassic 619

vote type 1 244

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

agreeclassic 23 763

vote type 1 2 025

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

agreeclassic 1 289

vote type 1 134

Meritocracy is a lie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 00:02

Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML

agreeclassic 982

vote type 1 127

Grammar rules, OK!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

agreeclassic 29 130

vote type 1 9 404

Try hard

By David - 10/01/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML

agreeclassic 176

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Nepotism rules

By SHIIIIITTTT - 10/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

agreeclassic 33 226

vote type 1 1 797

Lindsaykae 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:14

kick his ass.

crabgass 3

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:16

o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away

Comments

greyy_goooose 11

Saturday 24 July 2010 23:08

oh mann. 18 if freaking great! i love it. :D

kingkong954 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 23:28

how is this an fml, it should be an FMCW(**** my co worker) that little bitch stole my idea

I3ear 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 3:16

unless shes talking about you???

zach55 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 2:09

instead you should flip him off whenever he walks by you :D

bookbee 2

Sunday 25 July 2010 6:23

How's about you call him ********, and flip him off as he goes by?

pariah13 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:18

WTF Mate?

curryish0tt 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 11:27

tell him to kiss ur ass

boopiie 3

Sunday 25 July 2010 13:33

ha, he's funnie

robc32ca 4

Sunday 25 July 2010 15:02

call him Queen Dong and be done with it!

upintheorange 5

Sunday 25 July 2010 22:21

then send him off to get into character.

Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0

Monday 26 July 2010 2:50

SO?? That guy or girl sounds funny to me but if it's bothering u that much kick him in his nads or her vag

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML

agreeclassic 3 778

vote type 1 608

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

agreeclassic 31 313

vote type 1 3 416

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

agreeclassic 633

vote type 1 2 613

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

agreeclassic 40 625

vote type 1 26 984

Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML

agreeclassic 1 053

vote type 1 148

Today, my grandmother told me that my grandfather was a great man, and that he did a lot for the state of Ohio. When I got home, I googled him. He was the leader of one of the biggest KKK groups in America. FML

agreeclassic 1 607

vote type 1 139

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