Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML
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Top comments
Lindsaykae 0
kick his ass.
crabgass 3
o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away
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Comments (103)
Snobahr 0
Either call him "Ding Dong" (and give him a box of Ding Dongs (the chocolate cakes, not a euphemism for other things)), or just say, "No." If an issue is made of his request, go to HR.
myangel1401 0
dont we kill king kong??
Tyler4021 0
I'd rather get fired than having to do that
kurato 6
I think you would get fire for DOING that. Plus, OP I dont see the FML, it a new co worker, fk him. If he your new manager or CEO then it a different story
mormonginger 0
totally hilarious though!
laxnut1382 3
I'm sorry, but that is hilarious =D
kiitykat 8
i have said kiss my ass u bow down to me
haniam16 6
hahahahahahahaha lol thats so funny!
sbuxsux11 8
tell him he has to settle for the title sir douchebag instead
thaaatgirl 4
Haha so bow down all the way down to his feet and pull out his leg so he falls
newburton13 26
Give him a banana and tell him to **** off.