Miscellaneous: Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto...

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 12:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 252

You deserved it 1 293

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not taking it well

By runsinthefamily - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 983

You deserved it 4 621

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 916

You deserved it 6 710

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 967

You deserved it 1 789

Scruffy 'erbert

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 00:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 131

By Mybrotherissatan - 10/03/2016 15:59 - United States - Arrington

Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 620

You deserved it 1 329

Good samaritan

By tryingtohelp - 24/05/2020 20:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 994

You deserved it 2 224

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 808

You deserved it 418

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 359

You deserved it 2 416

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 154

Idiotskillme 20

Sunday 21 February 2016 6:45

Don't worry too much, OP. They'll need some kind of proof and when they don't have it the cops won't be too happy with them.

xKrisSmoove 21

Sunday 21 February 2016 6:54

Get yourself some alibis OP, you'll need them, then you can possibly counter sue the bastards

Comments

soulreaper12296 28

Sunday 21 February 2016 19:35

They wont get very far without any proof.

kirkaygri 18

Sunday 21 February 2016 20:14

I live in Illinois. I've seen one traffic camera in my entire life. And it was in Missouri. I travel all over the central and southern part of the state; not many towns have traffic cameras.

antisolid87 5

Sunday 21 February 2016 21:04

Chicago has a lot of traffic cams

asakadelis 7

Sunday 21 February 2016 21:26

Maybe 2 people said you did but everyone else on the block knows you didn't

shadowwolf656 8

Sunday 21 February 2016 22:28

press charges for slander against both of then

weirdxforever 4

Sunday 21 February 2016 23:04

wow.. i would've been trying to move out already haha

GhostFox 33

Monday 22 February 2016 3:50

I'm pretty sure that moving would be a bad idea if OP is officially under investigation. It not only would paint OP as if he were guilty of some crime, but could be illegal.

Alitas 11

Tuesday 23 February 2016 4:28

Kill them!!!

takren 2

Tuesday 23 February 2016 4:28

Get a lawyer. Ask for photographic proof.

jvanevery 19

Wednesday 24 February 2016 17:16

I'm guessing that this guy is a pain in the ass for the the police he probably accuses other people in the neighborhood of other things this isnt an isolated behavior