Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom, and stormed out of the house. I walked two blocks before realizing that I have no place to go, and no friends to vent to. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mom ambushed me with my cheating ex-fiancé, thinking being in the same room would miraculously change the past and we’d get back together. When I tried to walk out, my mom screamed like a banshee and latched onto my leg. After this I’m putting her in a retirement home and never visiting. FML
Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML
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Top comments
ladyme_fml 0
hahahahahaha well, it's better that way. Do you really want to hear your mother's orgasms in the room next to the one you're in? I don't think so.
xKoga 0
Sounds like they use your bed as a special vacation area. :P
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Comments (147)
youthink_fml 0
So obviously, when he comes over, you never give them some time alone. YDI.
nazooer 11
You DON'T think.
perdix 31
Be a good kid and go distract your dad for a while. Your mom obviously needs a lot more man-meat than your dad is providing, you need to divert your dad's attention for the sake of your home. If momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy.
Radix 3
she may be divorced or a single parent.
perdix 31
That's possible, actually, quite likely, but I think it is more fun to think that she us married to a sexually inadequate schmuck and is bringing in the big guns to get the job done. So, are we here to guess likely situations, or are we here to have some fun? ;)
lexuality 0
Oh don't be such a prude OP. Be happy that your mom is enjoying herself and just make sure to give them space next time the guy comes around. I wish MY parents had the courtesy to boot me out of the house first lol.
Philosophic 0
well , a word from the wise... don't kiss your mom on the lips
PsychoMerk 0
who the **** does that?! >_> why do people like practically swap spit with their parents? 0_o
coffeefiend 0
Haha yeah... you don't want to hear all that. Be glad she kicked you out while she and boyfriend are playing doctor.
smokey420 2
is your name possibly Butters?
PsychoMerk 0
His name is Leopold "Butters" Stotch!!!!
KurouTenshi 0
Maybe you should to to your mom and her boyfriend, what I do to my dad and his girlfriend: I fight their love noise, with my own! Whenever they start to have sex, I just invite my boyfriend over! ^^ Tons of fun,
Fedor_is_KING 0
21 with the sex-off, very nice. Who wins the most?
jverley 2
more like FYourMom
Hellooomindyy 0
Hahah!
DJuan 0
it's sad tht ur mom gets laid more than you.. or at least that she is open about it more so than u
afatmonkey 0
what's sad is having to listen to your mom invade somebody' special crevice with a strap-on to the beat of Eye of the Tiger. the only way I can get over it is by thinking, "at least it isn't Rosie O'Donald raping a baby lepercaun in the ear while chugging drunk juice.". this always makes me feel lucky.
afatmonkey 0
not drunk, crunk. oops.
yourlifesfucked 0
shoulda responded "ok ill swing by the store and get you that vagisil you needed". cockblock that bitch! altho for a woman i think its called twat swatting... hmm