By Anonymous - 08/03/2014 23:13 - United States

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 521
You deserved it 4 704

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I imagine your brother lost his umbilical cord by now, so maybe you're in the clear.. Maybe..

Ouch.. What an awful thing to say. Feeling sorry for you!

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Ouch.. What an awful thing to say. Feeling sorry for you!

Sounds hilarious to me. If I was OP I'd just be glad to be alive.

Hahaha that what i was thinking XD that was actually pretty clever and a Nice joke

Perhaps that's what Ops brother wants 33

>typical sympathetic "ouch" comment designed to get top

I like your profile picture! David Tennant!!!

No. It's the doctor. GET IT RIGHT!!!

Actually, it's Barty Crouch Jr.

Actually, all three of you are right. No matter who it is, all three personas are amazing.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

If you mean OP's twin, it states "brother" and "he." If you mean OP's mom, then your comment doesn't make sense.

I imagine your brother lost his umbilical cord by now, so maybe you're in the clear.. Maybe..

I think the baby is Stewie. So he has something better.

That's what rope is for

#38, stewie was born with a map of Europe. It had a bunch of x's on it saying "bomb here"

I would be scared.

at least its nearly ureaster pun pun pun

Where's Doc's idiot translator when you need it?

That's a good point actually... Where is docbastard? Not seen him in ages....

Easter… resurrection? I may not be a doctor, but I'm training to be one. Not much of a bastard, either, but you'll have to take what you can get. :P

That's probably the closest to deciphering it we'll ever get... thank you!

ureaster... urethra? I truly do not know on this one.

#46 - I'm pretty sure you've translated it.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen Perdix, ManintheMachine, Baustagit, or that Muslim chick who everyone mistakes for a nun in a while either...her name escapes me right now. I thought things had gotten shittier around here.

So now, how does the translation fit in with the FML?

ahh the "evil twin" .

Only not because Loki wasn't a twin....

Well he's like Luke then. (Janoskians) I'm just kidding, Luke is awesome.

I was waiting for this comment

When tf is there supposed to be a next time.

Next time he tries to kill her, perhaps?

Or unless they're fraternal twins?

next time they're in the womb together, duh.

Watch your back, OP. He's probably plotting your demise right now.

Was there supposed to be more to this insightful comment or are you just leaving the rest up to our imagination? *written when the whole comment was "C"

Invest in a cord cutter.