Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Ain't that sweet of her.
mpkpm 19
Silly child, sweets are for parents.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
Sir_Swaggington 6
I've never heard of someone taking candy from their own baby. That's pretty messed up.
GangstaPenguin 7
I'm trying to figure out why people think it's so cool or funny to press "YDI." Well no, OP was just glad her Mom was actually talking to her and then she came to realize her Mom basically did it for candy and it probably meant nothing to her. I like who people who say she deserves it do it to mostly annoy us or hurt others because they aren't satisfied with their life. Now that's about as low as the Mom weaseling her way in for candy.
cha2010chi 10
my mother does it to me every time
Llamanator9913 16
my mom does the same to me
Curlytwirly22 17
Why don't you guys talk?