Miscellaneous: Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work....

By chriss - 14/04/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 912

You deserved it 14 632

Miscellaneous

Broken heart

Top brass

Get some rest

By chickenlover - 27/08/2009 20:53 - United States

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 737

You deserved it 54 615

By kylie b - 25/05/2011 06:41

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it; I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 015

You deserved it 4 378

By Metallurge - 13/03/2015 03:02 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 3 021

It's not me

By LDF - 25/12/2008 10:30 - France

Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 071

You deserved it 1 920

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, my hours at work were slashed due to company wide cut backs. The only coworker unaffected was the asshat who stole my promotion after I'd trained them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 195

By GLX - 14/06/2017 17:00 - United States - Sand Springs

Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 676

You deserved it 251

#winning

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Lakeville

Today, I placed $20 in a slot machine at a casino and in a matter of 5 minutes lost it all. My sister then sat at the same machine, put her $20 in and quadrupled her money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 097

You deserved it 1 977

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 621

You deserved it 2 396

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 846

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 12:28 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 305

You deserved it 7 053

By tay - 10/04/2012 11:13 - Australia

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 3 576

How the…?

By Tiana - 30/05/2021 22:01

Today, I helped my best friend step out of the friendzone. As a result, I don't have a boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 156

By sharee - 19/12/2015 20:51 - United States - Providence

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 169

You deserved it 2 101

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 81

By mama - 30/06/2019 07:09

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to have a "rugrat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 333

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 17 089

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 987

You deserved it 3 715

By watch_corn_dance - 08/04/2014 02:13 - United States - Pontiac

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 020

You deserved it 3 539

By 102496 - 05/02/2010 03:53 - France

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 677

You deserved it 4 564

By JimmySmoothBeans - 21/10/2009 12:15 - Australia

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 298

You deserved it 3 472

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 596

You deserved it 5 670

Slow down

By cuz803 - 20/05/2021 17:00

Today, my high school diploma came in the mail. I accidentally ripped the diploma while opening it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 455

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 04:28 - Canada

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 951

You deserved it 41 099

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 650

You deserved it 8 770

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 178

You deserved it 5 335

By iphonerevolution - 05/07/2014 00:15 - South Africa

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 673

You deserved it 13 330

By HowAreYouAlive - 09/07/2014 04:24 - United States - Ashburn

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 631

You deserved it 3 881

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 484

You deserved it 1 301

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 11:37 - United States

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 682

You deserved it 13 751

I'm an excellent driver

By Ashley Nichole Hinton - 12/05/2020 02:00

Today, my husband ran our car into a fence at work. He had to file an insurance claim, with a company we only just got with, and it's going to deplete the rest of our taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 130

All over

By Anonymous - 21/02/2021 14:01

Today, after I had my wisdom teeth cut out yesterday, so of course I’m in pain. To top it off, I threw my back out today and can’t bend over. So in the end, I’m loopy from pain meds and my back hurts twice as bad as my mouth. Go figure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 62

Deniers

By La theRona - 05/08/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I’m the only one in my family who's ever taken Covid seriously. This seemed to really annoy my siblings, so much so that they chased me, pulled off my mask, and dramatically coughed all over me. We’re all adults and though they found it hilarious, I’ve been having panic attacks all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 386

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 739

You deserved it 1 483

By anonymous - 07/04/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 919

You deserved it 7 262

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 388

You deserved it 3 586

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 06:21 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 545

You deserved it 5 618

By lily - 23/03/2009 15:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 431

You deserved it 134 166

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 321

You deserved it 10 070

Where's my NS10s gone?

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 14:00 - Spain - Palma De Mallorca

Today, I woke up to find my home studio cleared of most of my music gear. Apparently, my brother went on a Tinder date with a stranger late at night, and decided it to bring her to my place's guest room since my house "was closer." I'd been building that studio for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 73

By dine and DASH our friendship - 02/05/2017 00:11

Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 317

You deserved it 386

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Top comments

Jordan10la 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:13

Put it in the fridge at your work. I hear people steal lunches all the time at some places.

madame_fml 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:10

Ewww O_o you didn't realize the smell at all?

madame_fml 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:10

Ewww O_o you didn't realize the smell at all?

haney66 0

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Monday 8 February 2010 5:48

I can see this as a commercial for odorless cat litter. w2g retard.

colts609380 7

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Friday 11 June 2010 21:02

which one?

pohkerfayce 0

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Monday 16 August 2010 4:32

tasty!!

BeeBabyee420 0

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Friday 3 September 2010 18:51

uhhhhhhhh yeah.....the disgusting smell wafting from your brown bag might have been your first clue tardddd

harrypotterrfan1 0

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Saturday 13 November 2010 20:54

retard is a mean term!

kettlemen 1

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Sunday 2 October 2011 9:03

Uhh your lunch, you tell me which one

Eternity_fml 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:11

Sick. Hopefully you threw the bag out far, far away and told your coworkers you were gonna go grab something to eat outside. 0.o

Dr_Jalepenos 0

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Saturday 13 August 2011 12:46

I have no idea. Pls tell me!

thombombb 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:12

EAT IT!!!!!!!!

colts609380 7

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Friday 11 June 2010 21:05

wait a sec. u live with ur mom and obviously your a grown man cause you go to work? so u can't be a teen with a part time job because u will probably eat the fast food for lunch there. u won't work somewhere u don't like rite? then that would mean wtf

randomburger 7

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Monday 12 September 2011 1:19

Op is female...

Rowdey 10

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Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:18

I can't tell if 121 is sexist or just stupid..

Starcatch77 20

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Friday 25 January 2013 3:52

Probably both.

Jordan10la 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:13

Put it in the fridge at your work. I hear people steal lunches all the time at some places.

JM3140 0

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Tuesday 15 June 2010 23:02

I like the way you think... I would have personally given it straight to some desperate person but the fridge works too

Aviva1313 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:14

delicious #4's got the right idea lol

ryan__h 1

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:14

not a true fml because you didn't eat it

shayansh 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:15

Big deal man...

scottyz1 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:16

So you got yourself a snack and not your full lunch.. damn!

dreadillusion 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:17

Obviousyly photoshopped. Look at the pixels in that text!

briguy21 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:18

why would she putter that on the counter? and how old r u living with ur mom and u work?

hiyalovesheyo 0

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Sunday 28 February 2010 20:02

I call fake. even odorless still has a certain stench. and the fact that you would have heard it if there was kitty litter in there. also that's pretty nasty of your mom to put that shit on your counter if this is tru.