Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
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Top comments
chris_lillo 15
Would you rather her know the truth?
wanted_2_want 40
So you were trying to choke the chicken but were squeaking like a mouse.
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Comments (16)
geekynerd88 10
The hell kinda noises were you making??🤣
real life problems 26
Hmm.. must have sounded like Christina Aguileara
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Whatever you do, don't ever sing in the shower or your family will think you're playing with yourself.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
How you could sound like you’re singing while masturbating I have no clue.
1ninjanina 7
If you’re not home alone, why wouldn’t you do it quietly? Or not at all, if it’s so good you can’t be quiet? Well, guess now you can do it whenever you want cause they’ll just keep thinking it’s singing.