Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML
Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML
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Top comments
Future_Mrs_Voltz 0
why did you want more than $10? all you did was grab three things
nandonando 0
is your friend hot?
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Comments (101)
davidhasmorefun 0
a dead bird? is your brother a golden retriever?
CyclonePsycho 1
^ Yeah, why is he fetching dead animals?
LightWater 0
Ha! That's ****** funny man.
Kuroftw 0
Obviously his brother hit a bird when he was doing tecktonik and killed it.
dzerzhinsky 0
what are you whining about you lame ****, that's a pretty easy ten
raithex 0
God, that is disgusting.! Is your brother a freakin dog or something.?!
dorworters 9
ain't dat a bitch
ily1210 10
pretty easy $10. but still, likee sanitize his room thats disgusting o.o
mshafty 0
Haha, maybe he new you were going to clean his room and is just ******* with you!
Some___Guy 0
Yes, your life is ruined.
perdix 31
Why the complaining? It looks like you got $10 AND free lunch! I know you have Coq Au Vin, can't you whip up something like Oiseau au Pomme with the found ingredients? (I'm no expert on French cuisine, but I think you can leave out the picture of your best friend.)
michelstaylor 0
you are one greedy person.
Matouche_fml 0
i was cleaning my bed and found your mom.......... just kidding my cousin found her........................hahahaha still kidding.....................ugh i have no life