Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Today, I cleaned up the entire kitchen after sending the kids to school. I decided to have a nice cup of tea, and then knocked the tea over into the bin and the bin cabinet, the hardest and grossest thing to clean. FML
Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
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Top comments
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Everytime I read an FML that talks about kids, I slowly and slowly lose the urge to have kids of my own. fml...
flockz 20
to be fair, a man was making his own sandwich...
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Comments (114)
debra123 4
Give em props, they're creative.
thecovert 7
Stop cleaning up their messes now or stop complaining. I don't care if their mess is there for 6 months - if you clean it, stop whining. Simple as that.
julia_lynn 21
FYL and YDI at the same time. Sorry, but if your kids are old enough to have this brilliant idea, they're old enough to clean up after themselves. And if they're not cleaning up after themselves, you obviously haven't been strict enough with them. I know my mom would have kicked my ass if I left that kind of mess in the kitchen. At the same time, FYL because your husband should have laid down the law with them. Sounds like you have one more child than you realized.
AlReAdYtEaKeN 4
don't clean up their mess!
interexntsc 12
if you cleaned up the mess then YDI. Not only this mess but the next, and the one after that. you just taught your family that no matter what happens you are there to clean up the mess.
chosha_fml 27
If you cleaned it up, YDI.
structuredchaoz 4
Need to get that lazy husband in check. That's just rude.
Hardwaregeek 0
Somebody's a little behind the times, that was all over Reddit a few months ago
bobbeta30 14
It's just two pieces of goddamn toast
Cathrin 26
It's less that and more the fact that her own kids and husband were too lazy to clean up after themselves
WolfHound8650 0
call out that shiny headed bastard, Mr. Clean and the "quicker picker upper" and get to it!