Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Today, I cleaned up the entire kitchen after sending the kids to school. I decided to have a nice cup of tea, and then knocked the tea over into the bin and the bin cabinet, the hardest and grossest thing to clean. FML
Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Everytime I read an FML that talks about kids, I slowly and slowly lose the urge to have kids of my own. fml...
flockz 20
to be fair, a man was making his own sandwich...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
Lolzords 11
I just know there are some /b/ros in here
Tvolsfan325 13
well isn't that the woman's job
FadedMemories94 4
Did it work?
meruu_2005 1
This is when you yell bitch and get them to clean up there mess if you don't get them to clean up then they probably won't ever
Almighty_Chris97 6
Parents just need to beat their kids. Then they won't be such little *****.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
agreed! not hardcore beating, but a spanking here and there is good for em! corpal punishment was were it was at! at least people were respectful in those days...
EduJav321 24
The couch for a week
rarr 0
Just spatula... their ass.
morikahjo77 2
I hope you told them to get off their ass and clean it up! Slap your husband for me.
kei1108 13
Make them clean up there own messes. Have them respect you and don't let them Walk all over you and draw your boundaries!
brian345 5
smart kids