Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Today, I cleaned up the entire kitchen after sending the kids to school. I decided to have a nice cup of tea, and then knocked the tea over into the bin and the bin cabinet, the hardest and grossest thing to clean. FML
Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
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Top comments
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Everytime I read an FML that talks about kids, I slowly and slowly lose the urge to have kids of my own. fml...
flockz 20
to be fair, a man was making his own sandwich...
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Comments (114)
macdaddymady 8
Nothing more important than family OP.
quite_bored 9
I don't think that applies here..
macdaddymady 8
I was trying to be optimistic, but sarcastic at the same time.
quite_bored 9
That seems contradictory..
fsukid1021 0
If only you had a dog.....
Kara_rated 5
Smart kids.
easton222 2
Notice how all of these comments are women complaining. Typical
ninjuh_wingman 29
Thats one way to deal with the mess.
shannyraelynn 6
That would never happen if you had a dog.
Akazuki 26
OP, this is the part where you yell and make your kids clean up after themselves. That's total bs; my mother would not tolerate that, nor should she have to.
dumboears 8
That's a good idea even tho we have toaster ovens for that.
pinkcrayola 0
This is when you just don't clean it up.
princess151617 4
Lmfao