Health: So, here's the thing…

So, here's the thing…

By MIG2204 - 15/04/2019 20:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my school told us that we all need to be checked and treated for threadworms. So now I need to go tell my girlfriend that she needs to be checked and treated for threadworms. We have been dating for little over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 183

Health

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Paternity test before the rest

Marriage going well is it?

By Oops - 02/05/2016 04:21

Today, I turned on my ceiling fan for the first time in months. I then watched as hundreds of furry spiders were flung across the room at high speed, in a circular pattern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 113

You deserved it 1 775

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 08:53 - Denmark

Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 405

You deserved it 1 587

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 127

You deserved it 2 266

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 555

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 891

You deserved it 11 379

By chickennbenchpress - 31/05/2011 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 027

You deserved it 81 247

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 3 313

Memories

By joanne - 29/05/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 111

You deserved it 1 995

By Anonymous - 11/06/2018 20:30

Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 3 443

By JamesK - 15/12/2016 23:23

Today, I went out with my kids to eat at a nice restaurant. While I was in the bathroom, my 7-year-old daughter ordered 15 plates of "pearls" on the menu. Those "pearls" turned out to be salmon caviar. Guess who got a 425$ bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 872

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 648

You deserved it 71 059

By ReallyNow - 01/09/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 3 005

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 17:14 - Canada

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 4 404

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 19:01 - United States

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 3 077

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 17:33 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 971

You deserved it 3 973

By luvizwar - 18/09/2009 23:27 - Australia

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 256

You deserved it 7 379

It's all about that D

By MK. - 21/04/2021 02:00

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 780

By UniqueKay - 15/07/2019 06:06

Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 13:16 - Canada - Brossard

Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 435

You deserved it 1 777

By TJFuentes - 11/02/2015 13:39 - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 3 742

By Colin - 24/12/2008 05:56 - France

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 308

You deserved it 3 001

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 205

You deserved it 34 913

By Anonymous - 13/03/2015 19:35 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 27 525

By Chris - 27/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 5 052

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 8 848

By language barriers - 12/02/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 5 191

By hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 2 921

By 44magnumtime - 06/08/2012 17:57 - Canada - Oakville

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 548

You deserved it 1 730

By Diana - 13/08/2010 01:06 - United States

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 8 201

Parental guilt

By low_expectations - 18/10/2020 02:08 - United States - New York

Today, my mother tried guilt-tripping me about coming home for the holidays by explaining that, “according to average life expectancy,” she and my father could be dead in the next 10-25 years. I’m already coming home for the holidays. She knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 72

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 11/12/2012 07:20 - United States - Valencia

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 4 168

By whatadisappointmnet - 05/11/2011 18:58 - United States

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 483

You deserved it 9 926

By Whyudodis - 01/10/2016 07:18 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, while on the skytrain, a woman leaned on the railing bar that I was holding onto, crushing my hand. My first instinct was to move my hand when she turned around and began loudly yelling at me for, "Touching her waist" and "Sexually harassing" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 566

You deserved it 880

Throw the bill at the kid. Do it.

By Deadmeat - 12/09/2017 04:29

Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 942

You deserved it 243

Organisation rules

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 02:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my college is so intent on teaching us teamwork that we hardly ever get to do any assignment by ourselves. Even if we could do it better alone. Even if we spend half our time trying to find a slot where all the team members are free to meet. And of course it’s a different team for each task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 14/04/2015 01:50 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 2 297

By anonymous - 30/10/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 587

You deserved it 3 971

Who taught him

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 698

You deserved it 52 952

By luroluro - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 3 134

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Seeya55 31

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Tuesday 16 April 2019 0:10

Okay...? Tell her that your school advised you that theres a threat of threadworms, and that you have to be tested, and you're scared if you have it, it transferred to her. What is the bfd? Is it cause you're in gradeschool?

Razell 13

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Monday 15 April 2019 23:03

What kind of hygenic practices does your school have that the entire place is at risk of catching intestinal parasites?

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RichardPencil 30

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Monday 15 April 2019 20:04

There’s no such thing! A real epidemic is earworms. Just listen to Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” and that’ll fix you!

Razell 13

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Monday 15 April 2019 23:03

What kind of hygenic practices does your school have that the entire place is at risk of catching intestinal parasites?

blondie45 21

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Tuesday 16 April 2019 6:15

Threadworms are transmitted by human to human and dog to human contact. Better to be safe than sorry and it’s advised that everyone deworms themselves every three months as a preventative measure. I’d say the school is practicing very safe hygiene!

Razell 13

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Tuesday 16 April 2019 23:14

I looked threadworms up. Apparently, thoroughly scrubbing yourself down during your daily ablutions is sufficient to prevent the spread of the parasite, as is washing your hands after you use the bathroom or pet an animal. "Regular deworming" is not good hygenic practice. "Regular deworming" is what you do after someone has <i>utterly failed </i>at good hygenic practice.

blondie45 21

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Wednesday 17 April 2019 4:15

Good luck with getting an entire school full of kids (and many teachers!) to thoroughly scrub themselves and their hands regularly. Worms spread. Fact. Deal with it.