By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Spicy
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 989
You deserved it 4 994

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As least she's supportive of you two.

I guess that puts you in an awkward position.

Comments

She was just trying to help

Lets hope your mother in law didn't demonstrate them...

Your poor comment

I also hope she didn't talk about how her son's testicles didn't drop down until he was 4.

As least she's supportive of you two.

is her mother-in-law's name Rozalin Focker?

Or Evelyn Harper?

Your mother-in-law is awesome

Agree. Listen from the expert .

Yes, should listen to the Mother in law, because she made your husband and you love him and married him, now imagine your kids.

honestly, I would be a bit weirded out, and not thinking: 'wow, my step-mom rocks!' but hey, that's me!

She knows what she's talking about - she had a lot of trial and error with your father-in-law to make your husband.

How do you know?

Because, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...

...Or are very intoxicated...

I guess that puts you in an awkward position.

Ironically, the positions for optimal procreation are awkward. You can't get pregnant doing reverse cowgirl. At least men can't ;)

What position DO you need to do for optimal procreation? That's what I'm wondering. And what's this about men not able to get pregnant from reverse cowgirl? I wasn't aware that any position lended itself to getting a man pregnant. Or is there some sort of auto-fecundation process aptly named "the fountain"?

19, I think missionary with a pillow propped under the lower back is one of the best for procreation.

Point your woman due north, eat lots of pickled herrings and I'm not sure I'd do this one but dipping your junk in ice... This also ensures that the kid will be a male.

No, you know what an awkward position is the Pilipino bulldozer. Doesn't get more awkward than that.

Yes, and lemons produce girls, so pucker up.

Well this is an awkward, funny, and helpful thread.. Might check out some of these..

#22, you are partly right. That position works if the woman lays there with her legs in the air for about a half an hour after he comes. By that time, he's ready for another beer, so get up and get it for him ;)

So, what is the best position for men to become pregnant?

73 - During the second full moon of the month, upside down against a wall with one foot touching your head and the other pointed skyward. I've heard differing rumours about making a fist with your non dominant hand, but that's unconfirmed.

As much as I want a son, I'm not sure I want to dip my junk in ice... And I sure as hell won't let it anywhere near lemon juice! Decisions, decisions.

I try to not think about what gender children I have. for one, if I have a boy, I have to make sure he knows to wrap it before he taps it and doesnt rape anyone. with a girl...I worry I may be on of those " hi nice to meet you, if you hurt my baby girl I am going to cut of your belly skin and suffocate you with it" fathers...having a boy seems easier...

87- Girls can rape people, too.

You can’t rape the willing. Besides how is a girl going to have sex with a guy whose dick isn’t hard?!?

Out of all her suggestions, which one is your favorite?

Sounds like she knows a thing or two. You should take her advice.

Double post due to lag, sorry, please remove this.

She really wants a grandchild. But I can only imagine how weird that phone call was for you, OP.

Or she doesn't want any, so she took it upon herself to ruin the procreation mood and ultimately repulse the OP!