By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Spicy
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 108
You deserved it 5 020

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments

mimiminx 23

To be fair, your husband kind of told her in a roundabout way that you're no longer just have recreational sex and you're now having sex with a purpose of impregnation. She was probably just trying to be helpful

perdix 29

You got to up your game to get her to back off. Tell her that her boy likes ********, anal and giving you Cleveland Steamers. At that rate, she'll never have grandkids and never bring up the subject of sex with you again. She probably won't ever make eye contact with you again. Win-Win!

I'm afraid to use urban dictionary to define a "Cleveland Steamer". At first I thought you meant a sports team player...

perdix 29

Don't look it up! I did and I'm a lesser person for doing so. Sometimes, ignorance is better. If you don't know what blumpkin, Dirty Sanchez and Boston Pancake mean, consider yourself lucky and just move on.

tsent8 15

Cleveland steamer: having your partner shit on your chest Tsent8 ruining childhoods since 1991

nickharbut 6

If he likes ********, tell him to do a Strawberry Shortcake on her ;)

this is making me both very curious and very scared of what might come.

Ex: Like have sex around 14 days after your menstrual cycle, look for that slimy white substance that drips out of you when you're most likely ovulating, and if you want a boy, you should be on top? :P These are among a few I've heard.

You are a cat.. What do you know aside from fighting dirty... >.>

You're a dog what do you know about babies.

Well when a female dog and a male dog get together, they have happy fun time. Wait awhile and puppies shall be born.. :D

chrissy2 28

Put the pillow under your lower back?

Damn at least your mother in law likes you or improves mine hasn't liked me from day one and I have been there since day one and extra supportive of her daughter but she has to put her two cents in everything so OP it could be worst a lot worst

sushichick 17

As a wanna-be grandmother she feels it is her duty to instruct you on "proper child conception techniques" and as a mother-in-law she feels it is her duty to make it as awkward for you as possible;)

RedPillSucks 31

that's only if you want dogs. for girls, try the reverse cowgirl. for boys, try anal then reverse missionary

dmblonde 13

Just try every position. One is bound to work :)