Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I found out that someone left an open sharpie pen in the dryer. It left pen marks on everything inside of the dryer. Not just one or two pen marks, but nearly 1,000 on each article of clothing. FML
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
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Top comments
NotGabe 28
Why carry just one strawberry in the pocket of your pants?
AviKerensky 17
Men's pockets are kinda like women's purses: Black holes. We often have no idea what the **** is in there.
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Comments (119)
lostinareverie 21
Sheesh, people questioning pocket fruit. Get a serving on the go.
habnoji 3
Be fucken happy he's doing laundry at all. I wouldn't do it
Brandi_Faith 34
Then you should probably continue to live with your mom. Your wife is not responsible for doing your laundry. And if I were your mom I'd stop doing your laundry and you can either choose to suck it up and do it, or wear dirty clothes the rest of your life.
babysupermonkey 4
or buy new clothes every day
leogachi 15
And then be homeless because you spent all your money on clothes and you can't afford to pay the bills. Good idea.
aaliyah_valeraxo 11
Wtf? Why was there a strawberry in his pockets? Only one strawberry?!
CliffyB03 28
Ah. So that's where I left it!
benjamn 24
At least it wasn't a frog. Do you know hard it is to get frog out?
sorainu 18
Rule #1 of doing laundry. Check ALLLL pockets.
Gofrieddough12 5
Why a strawberry out of all things???
tantanpanda 26
I don't think a strawberry is as bad as an ink pen. there are other fruits that stain WAY worse than a strawberry. Can you imagine how bad it would be if OP's husband had a pomegranate in his pocket? or Maybe must a few seeds? Definitely worse than a strawberry.
xluciferx666 21
I carry tater tots in my pocket
jayray313 21
...because we all carry a strawberry in our pants pockets at some point during the day...