Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I found out that someone left an open sharpie pen in the dryer. It left pen marks on everything inside of the dryer. Not just one or two pen marks, but nearly 1,000 on each article of clothing. FML
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
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Top comments
NotGabe 28
Why carry just one strawberry in the pocket of your pants?
AviKerensky 17
Men's pockets are kinda like women's purses: Black holes. We often have no idea what the **** is in there.
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Comments (119)
Kris1520 14
how do you forget a strawberry in your pocket. who even does that
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Your husband doesn't sound competent to do the laundry. I'd either take over or supervise him until he learns the importance of checking pockets.
trey600rr 22
he is intentionally messing it up so she will do it from now on! So men do this.
ally8 21
Coz that's where strawberries go...
ghetto_child 19
man trick: do an easy task as shitty as you can, and hope they won't ask you to do it ever again.
Dilwann 27
I doubt he had to do the whole laundry, but instead just put his dirty laundry with the rest. If he fails to do that job decently, he should probably go back to living with his parents and learn basic skills. Because his wife is not his mom and shouldn't check all of his pants pockets before doing the laundry.
benjamn 24
32 WTF dude!? You aren't ever supposed to let that get out. The committee will hear about this, ;)
Silvermaye 25
For all we know he was just trying a new method of making jam...
jeffreyl0ve_2011 14
wait what?why did he have a strawberry in his pocket?
Steve_Dudley_UK 10
These creatures always try to be the alpha animal of their domestic pack but they are of limited intelligence. Much patience is needed in trying to teach them the most basic tricks. They can happily go around the house sniffing and searching for food and drink such as hidden chocolate but if you want to teach them anything clever then be aware that you may spend decades trying but never succeed. Most owners are just grateful that when their pet goes off on a Friday and Saturday evening that they are able to find their way back home and do not run off to play with anther owner. There are times most owners wish they could have them put down but they can be a source of happiness and occasionally, if your lucky, even be loving at times.
SirEnigM0nk 22
LMAO! This...this is priceless.
worldclassrager 41
I did that once...with a pen...not fun... Could have been worse right? Like maybe a sharpie or something?
FalconWhitaker 20
... but... I... who the hell puts a strawberry in their pocket??
sousaphonist 14
... what the hell was he doing with a strawberry in his pocket in the first place?