Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about yet again going out “with the boys” and not coming home. I told him that as long as he has that ring on his finger, he’s gonna respect me, the kids, and our home. He responded by taking off his wedding band and throwing it to the ground. FML
Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML
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Top comments
Avaquin 0
wow. no offence, but hes an ass.
isantorin 0
sounds like the start to a great marriage.
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Comments (286)
queenrocks10 0
that is FML worthy i'm terribly sorry
macbenz 0
cry me a ******* river
Phillay632 0
Looks like you bagged yourself a winner. Wait, can you hear that? It sounds like the world's tiniest violin.
lyndis_fml 0
Dumbass. Are you really so desperate that you married the first asshole who cast a **** your way? Your own fault.
souldrifter 0
D-I-V-O-R-C-E... Find out what it means to me...
Lia_Mackenzie 4
The 50% + divorce rates in the US beg to differ with you.
nanoflacka 0
If he keeps it up divorce him because either he will become an achoholic or an ass for a husban!
WomanMonster 0
Darling that really sucks. Be honest with him later on and tell him he said some hurtful things when he was drinking. How he responds then is what is important. My hubby and I have been jerks to each other plenty of times. But the love is there ALWAYS.
blueflare21 3
Divorce papers anyone?
seniorenyore 0
wow you definitly dont deserve that and i can't believe you married him. please...don't put up with his shit.
ohmyjesus_fml 0
you gotta hate that as soon as a guy is married to you he thinks he can do anything. Things change once you get married.