Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me two tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML
Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her unemployed stoner boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
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Top comments
Muffinish 0
Ouch. **** your life, also **** the 12 year-old daughter's life for having a deadbeat dad.
allmidnighteyes 11
On the next episode of Divorce Court....
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Comments (155)
Acid80 3
Yeap, this really really sucks a lot.
Nicoleismyname 0
My jaw dropped reading this one. What a way to find that out. I'm sorry =-(
teehee520 0
Now THIS is an FML.
hk_fml 9
What the hell. I hope you ripped his balls off. I'm sorry this happened to you =/
PaulieeBooMN 0
Hey #22 way to recap the FML I forgot how retarded I am and can't understand things unless I reread them again the way some ass hole sees fit
leibod 0
Have his baby, divorce his ass, make him pay another child support, bankrupt the motha'----a.
stupiidx3 0
FYL. you can't possibly derserve that. i hate cheaters. divorce his ass and sue him for everything you can sue him for. take all his money. but not entirely everything leave some for the little girl. she's innocent in this part :[
kukopia 0
I agree. But you (# 26) should have replied to #22, eh?!??!
PaulieeBooMN 0
Hey #22 thanks for the recap, because I forgot just how retarded I am and that I don't comprehend things that I read unless some ass hole retypes it out in whatever way he sees fit
graciedacie 0
That's not how it works. Unless she wants to risk taking more money away from the 12yo daughter. Child support can only equal up to half of a person's paycheck...divided by the number of children they have. Alimony is the way to go on this one. =]
perfectwinds 0
Actually, it wouldn't take ANY money away from the first child. She would get less child support than the 1st because the 1st is... well... 1st! When they calculate child support, other ones are calculated into how much they make. So say the dad is paying 300 in child support to Mom A and makes 1300 a month. Well, Mom B would see that income as 1000 a month and gets child support from that while Mom A gets the moolah straight from the 1300.
whoaelena 0
I....um...wow. So speechless!
Puolukka 4
I so don't agree with all these statements. Yea I'm sure it majorly sucks if after 14 years of marriage you find out that your husband has a 12-year-old kid. I can't even begin to imagine how much this must hurt. But this is how it could have happened: They get married. 2 years later he cheats, it's a one time thing, a horrible mistake that he really regrets, maybe he was drunk or whatever(of course nothing really justifies cheating...BUT)...he stays with his wife, hides the cheating from her, finds out the other woman is pregnant and starts paying child support once the baby is born...the main point is though, after that the OP and her husband have OBVIOUSLY been a rather happily married couple for the next TWELVE years... So I wouldn't scream "divorce him now"...they might be able to work through it.
Musicismylife92 0
I see your point #99 but he hid this for twelve years that means he looked her in the eye for twelve years (unless he just found out about the kid) and lied to her everyday. he vowed to be honest no matter what it is. even if he's really sorry for it, I'm mean he made the mistake so he pays the consequences he's a grown man time to act like one. especially if he loves her. it's always better to tell someone the truth sooner rather than later ( or twelve years later) when now she probably can't even trust him ever again. I mean what if he has other kids out there or has done worst than this. she'll never know when he's lying or being honest because he obviously is a really good liar.
Spider_fml 9
Wow seriously? damn... Fourteen years... I hope you'll bounce back from this, best of luck