Intimacy: Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the...

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 484

You deserved it 36 773

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 1 788

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 040

You deserved it 16 158

Quickie

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 662

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 178

You deserved it 59 880

By prdept. - 09/03/2011 17:12 - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 202

You deserved it 20 488

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 379

You deserved it 11 781

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 2 438

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 293

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 099

You deserved it 2 568

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 280

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"

thestrangedude 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

At least they didn't call the police first

Comments

Bulldozer36 21

Monday 13 January 2014 17:41

I give props to your husband but maybe scream into a pillow next time to muffle the sound.

israelnotjacob 20

Monday 13 January 2014 17:41

You have two kids and still haven't learned how to control your screams? YDI

NeatNit 32

Monday 13 January 2014 17:42

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:45

Ah yes, Nerf Guns, well known for their devastating effects on children. You can never be too careful with low speed softened projectiles.

JACKxRAWR 22

Monday 13 January 2014 17:54

Haha, seriously? Nerf guns ******* rule. My friend's little brother has loads of 'em and whenever there's a group of us at his house we always end up having a huge battle.

TheBrochure 22

Monday 13 January 2014 18:01

Nerf Guns ruined my life, and really took a tragic toll on my brother's, as well. He is currently in a 24/7 rehab program, but is showing little signs of progress. Did you know that for Nerf rehab, they don't pad anything, as the foam can trigger reactions instilled by the violence of Nerf Guns, just like veterans who suffer from PTSD? Hasbro really unleashed a monster.

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 18:04

You said it. First Monopoly, now Nerf... HASBRO YOU TOOK MY FAMILY APART PIECE BY ******* TOY PIECE, YOU MONSTERS! JIMMY YOU DIED TOO SOON IN THAT TRAGIC TWISTER ACCIDENT, TOO SOON! I'LL MEET YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, BY THE BEYBLADE BATTLE ARENA!

littlekellilee 45

Monday 13 January 2014 18:28

Yes, Nerf Guns, the only toys they sell at Toys R Us that aren't really for kids...

WhisperSoflty 20

Monday 13 January 2014 18:31

13, take your namby-pamby bucket-of-suck attitude elsewhere. Those kids are lucky! They have cool toys and parents who love each other. So mom was really into the sex this time, it's not that big of a deal. How is that in any way a harmful environment for any child?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 13 January 2014 18:52

Arrrr maties.... I lost me eye in a tragic nerf accident back in '03. Now I have to wear an eye patch and this damn parrot is digging into my shoulder.

swick25 22

Monday 13 January 2014 19:33

when the hell else are parents with kids supposed to have sex??? when they are up watching T.V. in the next room? idiotic question or thought. and nerf guns are awesome. what kid didn't have one???????

Rainhawk94 27

Monday 13 January 2014 21:12

I'm sure 13 feels stupid

NoNamesFree 8

Monday 13 January 2014 22:04

#29 You made my day with this comment.

JACKxRAWR 22

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:55

I got shot in the eye by my ex girlfriend with a nerf gun. She was a crack shot.

Gangsterrface 10

Tuesday 14 January 2014 10:46

Since when are Nerf guns bad? Are you just jealous your parents never loved you enough to get you one?

Nastorrian 11

Wednesday 15 January 2014 8:52

I would hate to be your kid or even related. You seem way over protective or super stiff and no fun..

Nastorrian 11

Wednesday 15 January 2014 8:54

This was hilarious my friend. Golf clap

invalid240 9

Monday 13 January 2014 17:44

At least they're protective of you.

awkwardlysmiles 12

Monday 13 January 2014 17:46

No locks? Even if the door doesn't initially come with one, as intimate parents you should think to invest in proper locks. There will come a day, when they will walk In and brain bleach isn't around.