Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, my apartment was robbed. The police report said my apartment was ransacked. No it wasn't, that's how it looks every day. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML
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Top comments
lenamartinovic 13
Report him
YaboyVinnie 21
When things get personal, cops are the biggest assholes, just because they have the power to be. Better report that dude.
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Comments (151)
csi_fml 19
He sounds mature
SoylentCandycorn 10
Why is he a cop if he can't keep his butthurt from high school out of his job?
mbuck87 19
I think that's a reason a lot of guys become cops
nonnieluv 9
You should have had a donut ready to sweeten his mood
SoylentCandycorn 10
The only doughnut a dirty cop like that deserves should be made of excrement, with pubic hair sprinkles.
Spectre529 12
I would report that guy
Mouton_fml 5
Call station, demand thorough investigation. Get him fired. Ruin his life for him not taking his job seriously.
zombieslayer83 19
can anyone say "what's your badge number"
Werken247 14
what's your barge number... what's your bulge under... what's your badger mumble... nope... can't say it
stokkingu 8
You should've sneered and asked for his bosses number. . .
Werken247 14
Why, is his boss cute?
Driveshaft 5
No he didn't. Stop making things up, just so you can post on FML, it ruins it. Go ahead and moderate me.
ethan_nelson61 4
Wait, so who got the girl?
Atchoo 8
Just because he can't handle the situation like an adult doesn't mean you can't. Report him to his superiors and request a different officer handle the case.