Anonymous
United States
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Sarah
Penhold, Canada
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
TheAnnoyedNeighbor
United States
Neighborhood watch
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML
Anonymous
Bessemer, United States
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Aaron
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
racello13
Baldwinsville, United States
Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML
Amanda
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Lindso1
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Top comments
TheRealBruce 12
well y'all better put them in a safe
macdaddymady 8
man that's some scary shit, it's time to move
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Comments (379)
MrSexyPants 14
The last line reminded me so much of EpicMealTime. Hehe, what nerve to write you a note after that. But try to lose your soul before they take it. Turn on the Disney Channel.
ryankon518 3
I thought the exact same thought..,
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
if some very suspicious men in long, hooded cloaks ring your doorbell, don't answer it.
pink_raindrops 26
I don't think I'd answer the door for them even if I didn't get the note lol.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Right?! Like, "Why hello creepy ominous shadowy men with out of vastly place tools in their hands, won't you join me for tea?"
Illyssa_fml 4
Hahahahahaha!! WIN!
Symmetry88 0
my thoughts exactly.
ryankon518 3
EpicTheftTime!
Senior29 8
r dey dementors or wat? dat way atleast u'll still be alive ;)
DocBastard 40
I have to assume there something wrong with the "h" on your keyboard. Why the hell else would you use "dey" instead of "they" and "wat" instead of "what" and "dat" instead of "that"? I refuse to believe it's sheer laziness or utter stupidity.
pink_raindrops 26
I bet it was because they feel cool talking like a retard.
Senior29 8
umm, last time i checked, "dey" is a letter shorter "they", and u still understood what i meant. y shud i bother typing the full words when txt type does the job?
DocBastard 40
Um, last time I checked TXT jargon isn't allowed. Oh, did you forget to read those annoying site rules before you started commenting? Well, in case you can't find them, allow me to quote: "TXT language and out of context comments are forbidden." Is that not clear enough?
DocBastard 40
Alan, I hope "magic shoes" actually means flamethrower. Read the rules, people. Please read the goddamned rules.
Senior29 8
158 the rules r 4 posting an fml, not 4 the comments. and in case u didnt notice, "fml" is a short itself, 4 fuckmylife
Sirin_fml 47
No, the rules are for the comments. Hence the "FMYLIFE'S COMMENTS POLICY" title, and being linked to under the comments box and located at http://www.fmylife.com/comments/rules And FML is an acronym, not text language. It stands for "**** My Life", not "*** mah lief".
dreamering 16
Hey senior. You really must be the one who tries to lick his asshole while trying to comment at the same time. Trust me, it's not a good idea because it makes your eyes watching the Arctic and the Antarctic at the same time.
Sirin_fml 47
Today, Alan was a pedantic Pendatik groupie. FML
DocBastard 40
Well I pronounce FML as "fimmel" so I suppose that makes it an acronym after all. I'm glad we were able to put this issue to rest, Senior. If you have any more questions, please message me. In English, please.
Senior29 8
dreamering so u've actually tried it? UGGHH!
jaff23 11
sell your soul to the devil. that way they can't steal yours and the devil might throw in a new tv
BariumDeep 0
What, your shoes?
TrollinYou 0
Idiot -.-
beccerz 6
that's a little cheesy.....
Osito2011 9
just hope there won't be a next time lol. let the cops see the note. maybe those idiots left finger prints on it.
Blondilicous 0
what if they're gingers?
chcardinals 0
thats hilarious