Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML
Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML
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Top comments
UhHuhHoney 20
Lol your grandma is a thug
swaglesshipster 23
That is love right there. She even got you out of work to spend time with you!
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Comments (128)
BBeffedmylife 28
Your Grandma sounds AWESOME. If only she wanted to see a different movie..
ThatDamHuntress 20
At least you get time of from Work. Though talk to your Grandma about what is appropriate and what isn't.
TDog3337 12
I bet you wish you had stayed at work...
stephanyovalle 15
I'm just laughing so hard at this. She went in so much trouble to get you out of your job. It's just a movie, erotica but still a movie, and it's not like your granny was born old. Give her a break.
royceda510 10
Man how I would kill to have my grandma bust me out of work
travellingfun 18
I like your grandma.
dmklake 14
i love your grandma. she sounds awesoms
Mossygirl357 12
Hell yeah grandma!
brandoneyez1 25
50 shades with grandma doesn't sound appealing.
Pebbles622 16
Grandma FTW!!