By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 428
You deserved it 14 703

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Should've mentioned sex, it's a great calorie burner.

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tell her it's all natural.

or just not swallow

exactly #39 don't swallow problem solved! lol

#39, I was thinking the exact same thing, haha.

or just wear a condom

ok 79 that was a dumb idea

It's a good source of protein, and she's a vegetarian so I'm 99% sure she's protein deficient.

So #92, when did plants stop having protein?

Also, #92, where does it even say she's a vegetarian? Diet does not equal vegetarianism.

I moded this:))

you have a dumb bitch for a girlfriend.

one teaspoon of sperm is 5 calories :D

Lol damn OP that does suck, but atleast she's trying to lose weight though, so you got to cut her some slack. But hey, it's high in protein so you can just add it to her diet (I think).

You can't ADD protein and lose weight, you have to replace a meal WITH protein for it.

tell her to skip supper...

#11, yes you can add protein to your diet. I work out everyday after work and I add a protein shake after every work out. Protein builds muscle and helps you lose weight.

plus, protein gives you energy

Protein gives energy. If energy is not used, it is STORED as fat. The point of my post was the adding protein =/= easy weight loss.

WTF 0.0 I said calories

WTF 0.0 I said calories

WTF!!!!!! FML! double posted that and didn't my original

ahah. I like the "blondes" picture.

Tell her it's a new protein shake like SlimFast.

SpermFast :D Drink up haha

More like cumfast lol

omfgi love you never thought about that lol babe here's some spermfast promise it hurts it's like all you suck my bad eat buffet you hungry come here and suck I mean eat a sperm shake lollypop Popsicle sausage chocolate butterfinger a chocolate Twinkie and last but not least my dick with filling lmao

daaron: that was complete and utter jibberish.

most logical response

Exactly what I was thinking. It's a win for everyone. :)

i want to give you a thumbs up but you're currently at 69 of them and i cant mess that up ?there ya go

Should've mentioned sex, it's a great calorie burner.

it doesn't burn that many calories unless you do it for more than 3 hours. trust me, I know :P

Doesnt she know that sperm is healthy for teach?

Who said she had to swallow?

Love did. Swallowing is by the way much better than spitting it out, because 1) the (sometimes horrible) taste is immediatly gone 2) it takes less effort 3) it is much sexier to see. But everybody does what he/she is most interested in.

you my dear are a mans best friend :-)

IMO putting your mouth anywhere near that is disgusting on its own... swallowing it even worse.

Putting it in your mouth is not disgusting by any means. I think it's a really big turn on and I love knowing I'm pleasing my man. But that's just me

Anyway just tell hee she will burn more calories in the process, if you know what i mean, so in the end its all good.

love da red hair u lookin sexy

86, are you thirteen or something? As long as the man's dick is clean, I don't see where it'd be disgusting.

Exactly! It just makes sense. But personally, whenever I'm on a diet I still swallow for my boyfriend.

just return the favour;) saving silverman.

ydi for being a slut

you deserve it for being a prude

Well she'd work the calories off if she gave you a proper blow job.

wtf! its only 5 calories!

you would know

I think she is just trying to get out of giving him a blow job. He should remind her that they aren't married. He should also remind her that blow jobs are safer as far as pregnancies are concerned. Having a baby makes you gain more weight than sperm :)

how do u know that?

@ LoveMySoldier82: How is reminding her they aren't married going to help the OP get a blowjob?

It was a joke. People say that after marriage women don't feel the need to give blow jobs cause they got what they wanted...

actually, it's closer to a thousand calories depending on the man/boy you're giving one too. I study nutrition at college and my teacher likes to throw in sex jokes. some can be 500+ where as others are 900+ but no one should have 5 calories. considering that there's thousand of sperm and each sperm needs the energy to swim and move and fight to get towards the egg, they're bound to be fattening. :) gross much?