Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog...

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 808

You deserved it 5 727

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 923

You deserved it 6 203

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 109

You deserved it 7 462

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 5 258

It's a doggy dog world

By Stephon - 04/08/2021 02:01

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 9 701

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 3 362

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 511

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 886

You deserved it 11 609

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 448

Filitov 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 1:36

Dogs and ******* have never really gotten along much, y'know.

shortymac 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 1:37

The number 1 reason the pets should never be in the same room as 2 people having sex. it never works out.

Comments

SammichandPoopy 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 4:48

today, my girlfriend was going down on me. now, I don't know about you but for me that's a win not a fml.

fluffbunny 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 8:58

It must be a New York thing. The city that never sleeps. No wonder everyone goes to Vegas.

Nympho_Ninja 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 4:50

OP, it's called shutting the door. Maybe your dog attacked her on the basis that you don't have enough respect for your animals and assume they wanna see you get a *******. Cockiness..it never gets you anywhere.

sweet_candy_ 17

Sunday 23 January 2011 5:14

So you guys **** with the dog in the room?

Smexi101 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 5:29

How is this bad for u?, just think about ur poor girlfriend and how she feels...

marriiee_fml 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 9:08

exactly what i thought. more like **** her life. not yours.

xundria 5

Sunday 23 January 2011 6:03

F t dogs life... He gets to be put down for attacking someone.....

elizabethann416 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 6:35

it might be a while before she does that again!!!

mohamedbadr 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 6:54

crazydevildog 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 8:42

who gets a head with the dog watching???????!!!!!! you're one sick individual

fluffbunny 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 9:00

It was a test between the dog and the girl on who gets to play with the squeaky toy. Apparently the dog took out the competition and gets OP's squeaky all to himself.